terrible twos times two.....

Fooi Steph Kinders kan mens heeltemaal oorweldig.
I sometimes look at my mom's generation and it seems that they coped with it so easily. My granny had 16 kids - 16 !! imagine that. You would have to come and visit me in mental institution...

I think somehow we are under more pressure - having a full time job and then all of the pressure to be the perfect mom.

Anyway I posted a threat a few weeks ago complaining about my little terror. In the meantime I have started reading the book "Toddler Taming" by Christopher Green and the first thing it lets you know is that your child is not some little weird unbehaved monster which makes you the bad mom, but rather your toddler is simply being true to his/her nature. The book lists all the "crazy behaviour" of toddlers and I put a tick next to almost every single one, but was kind of relieved to know that its not me!
The other very useful thing from the book is that most of this behaviour comes from their need for UNDIVIDED attention - which apparently at this age is much stronger then when they are babies!! So I can imagine that your two must feel that they are competing for the attention of an already overworked mom and thus they act out.
So of course one asks oneself how in my busy day do I find time for undivided attention. I have made some small but very effective changes. We now linger in bed for 15 to 30 minutes in the morning - depending on what time Ethan wakes up. We use this time to talk and play and sing...whatever. I decided on the morning because I have a flexible job and my afternoons are late and do not allow for extra time with him. However, when I prepare dinner i get him to "help" me and then in between I will take out 5 minutes, focus on him and interact with him. And I try to do this focused attention thing a few times a day, especially over the weekend. It will obviously be harder for you given that you have two, but see if you can fit it in your day. It has really made a difference with Ethan - there are definitely less tantrums and less clingy behaviour. He uses to hang on me and say "uppy, uppy", wanting to be picked up. I now pick him him up more often and hold him and talk to him and then after a while he asks to be put down and there is much less "uppy, uppy".
Sterkte vrou!!

You have so done absolutely NOTHING wrong stephanie. Please don't ever put any blame on yourself. Your youngest is only 18 months and when my Duaghter was approaching that age I suddenly found myself feeling almost exactly like you and then I only had one child at that stage. I was diagnosed with PND and yes beleive it it can start way after your child is born. I dealt with it in a non-medical manner and if you want to know anymore details please email me on info@doodlebums.co.za I am not saying you also have PND I am just simply saying that I totally understand where you are coming from and if you want to chat please let me know as it's the best thing you can do. I can't come visit you because I am in Cape Town but I just want to assure you that you are only Human and your feelings are very normal.

*big hug* it easy to say, but it does get alot easier, i know it is hard.

I have 2 boys, and they are a handfull. I have a great support structure at home which i am greatful for.

Just remember that you are doing a great job - yes i sed job, it is a job and half to raise kids.

this might seem like the strangest thing to say, but summer is around the corner and there are plenty of activities for lil ones to be doing, WINTER is such a downer.

anything crafty, it will keep you sane and them entertained....for a few hrs a day....

Oh shame, my friend. I know what you are going through. I have all 3 of kids at home with me ALL day. The only time I get to myself is when they are asleep and by that time I am so tired I don't want to do anything.

Good luck and remember there are others who are going through the same thing.

Kaylae i foudn two?

Growing kids with Character and Between Parent & Child????

JOli, my ma bly 5km van my af, maar die probleem is sy kan nie eers altwee hanteer nie. sy sal ook net een vat.

Onthou my stiefpa is 77jaar oud en die is nie lus vir kinders nie, so met die gevolg my ma help my nie juis veel nie want dit maar moeilik van haar kant af ook met die ou man.

Ek dink Kaylee het al 2 keer in haar lewe by my ma geslaap. dit is soos n big no no....


Ek wens ek kon meer ondersteuing vanaf manlief kry maar hy het mos nuwe werk begin Junie. En dit is skofte, so hy is amper nooit oor naweke waneer dit inkopie tyd is by die huis nie.

Kyk ek kla nie oor sy werk nie, aangesien hy amper n jaar gesukkel het om werk te kry is ek net te dankbaar vir die inkomste, maar ja dit is tuff op my.

Ek voel net ek kry geen rus nie. Ek werk 5 dae n week by my werk waar ek geld verdien om te sorg en dan nog die ure na werk en dan Saterdae en Sondae. maw ek werk 7 dae n week, 30 dae n maand 365 dae n jaar sonder n breuk....

ek voel ek doen iets serisouly verkeerd want hoekom luister hulle nie vir my nie?

ek voel al soos ek heks want dit voel net of ek heeltyd raas en pakslae gee....

ek is seriously moeg... ek weet nie hoe lank ek nog sal kan aangaan nie.

voel ek wil myself gaan inboek en net wegkom....

Hugs and kisses.On the Clingy thread under this heading there are books recommended on how to raise kids