terrible twos times two.....

Clair no offence but u sound just like my mother ! haha in a good way tho....

she also said the same things about the books as did, and welll booked a session for me tomorrow....

2kidmamma, with Corlia my youngest i had PND because i felt like she wasnt planned... i didnt want her, cause i felt she was invading my time with Kaylee.

Sounds Terrible and im sorry, but i got pregnant on the pill when Kaylee was 4 months old. I found out at 8weeks (kaylee 6 months)

I was devastated, seriously cause i felt like this is not what i want right now.

to crown it she was a terrible coloc baby, screaming day and night....

anyways i was on meds 2 weeks after her birth and then she got really really sick, i got such a fright i got out of my state of mind.... and everything was fine up until now....

I just feel very depressed and cant help thinking about if i only had Kaylee. Im a terrible mother for thinking this, but i see how much better my life would have been.... and vice a versa (nearly lost kaylee at 8weeks)

last night again both of these girls threw such tantrums, and i seriously dont know how to handle it anymore.

1) kaylee took off her pants and wanted to pee on the stoep, when i told her no u a girl u dont do that u have to use a potty she told me, no i wont.... so i took her by the arm and she screamed at me, leave me alone i wana pee, so i smacked her on her "kaalbas" she screamed so bad i took her to the bathroom kicking and screaming.... and only when my mother got there about 10mins later she stopped...

2) Corlia wanted me to pick her up this morning while i was dressing, and i told her no not now im getting dressed, she fell backwards without moving and hit her head so hard on the ground to such an extent that i had to pick her up....

i mean really... i cant help feeling like this terrible mother cause my children are monsters....

some family dont even invite me anymore because the kids are so naughty, now u must know how it makes me feel....

vat die Hettie Britz cd, dit het my baie gehelp

daar is ook n boek by cum, have a new kid by Friday dit het my die meeste gehelp....

hoop jy kom reg
xxx

Hi Claire.
If you don't mind me asking, what kind of a therapist do you go to that spent time with the boys evaluating the best discipline types for them?
That seems like a very worthwile thing to do for us struggling moms

Ditto that Claire.

Its easy for us to put the kids in a time when they acting up, but we never actually take the time to step back and BREATHE. Then we realise the situation aint really that bad.....

I cannot really give advise as I am pretty much going thru the same thing with Liam at the moment (thank goodness Brandon is old enough to understand that right now Liam needs extra attention and gives me the space I need to deal with it).

But, please do not feel that you have failed as a mother, children need confident parents in order to obey - they smell the fear and react to that Remember YOU are the BEST mother you can possibly be for your children.

I read copious amounts of books, trying to find solutions that work for me, but you need time and the concentration to absorb the lessons books offer. And I sometimes feel that books do not offer the comfort & sympathy that a therapist offers

So I found that chatting to a therapist has helped me more than all the books I read. You go back every week and discuss the methods used and then "tweek" them to be more effective. You can ask questions (which you can't when reading).
He also spent a few sessions with each boy and offered very different advise for each child, according to personalities for eg Time out is effective for Brandon, but does absolutely nothing to control Liam. Spanking controls Liam, yet scares the living daylights out of Brandon.
So Brandon gets time out, Liam gets a hiding. And I know this seems unfair towards the children, but at the moment it works for us.
As they grow older, so we will adjust the discipline methods.

Another thing he has taught me, is to put myself in time out - when I feel my temper rising - I lock myself in my bathroom, close my eyes, block out the screaming and breath deeply, regrouping myself. When you are in control of your emotions, you are better able to deal with theirs

And once again - YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOTHER, YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG !! Let this become your mantra and every time you feel down, repeat as many times as you need.

PLease help, which one must i take

Between Parent and Child or Growing Kids with Character (books)

or DVD from Hettie Britz (author Growing)
Kreatiewe Gereedskap Vir Disipline (2-12

Praktiese Antwoorde Op Algemene Ouerskap


or CD

Kweek Kinders Met Karakter & Kweek Geson

hi stephanie,
hier is daai link weer vir between parent and child

www.kalahari.net/books/Between-Parent-an...ld/632/27145888.aspx