I really can't handle the tantrums anymore -HELP

In the same situation with my 2 and half year old LG. Using Kiddy calm for 10 days now... hoping its the answer (please!).

So glad I am not alone! Thanks for all teh advise!

I am glad you have found something that works for you, stick it out and the results just get better.

I used to say the boys had no "sleep-o-meter" they went from happy to screaming in 0 seconds flat, no warning, and looking back it is because I gave them the extra 5 minutes cos it seemed as if they were having so much fun, but those were the 5 minutes that pushed them into over tired and grumpy.

If you start to monitor the REASON behind the tantrum, you will also be able to head them off before they get out of hand, and you will soon notice a pattern.

Good luck and well done for taking those steps at taming your child, which will lead to a well balanced, secure child in the future

Hi Ladies, just a quick update on my monster. So on Friday after creche I was quite surprised at her behavior. She had no tantrum or anything. She was rather pleasant and fell asleep with no issues. So Saturday the same thing - no tantrums or nothing. She was actually rather pleasant the entire day. Yesterday afternoon just before her nap she had a tantrum, I have no idea what caused this as she was happy and then all of a sudden she had the tantrum in the bathroom. So I left her there and checked on her every five minutes or so. I was not allowed to touch her or pick her up but not allowed to leave either. So I just ignored her tantrum completely. I left her in the bathroom [she just refused to come out] and went back every five minutes and asked her if she was done and tried picking her up. She refused about 4 times and I just left her. When I went back the fifth time I held my arms out to her and she came to me. When I spoke to her she just nodded her head and fell asleep peacefully on the bed. I must say, this approach of ignoring the tantrum does wonders for me. I am more relaxed and calm. Previously I would try to calm her down, talk to her, beg her to stop crying and that just frustrated me even more and I got very angry and upset. This approach works so much better. I now know all toddlers have tantrums and it's normal behavior - we as parents must just learn why the have tantrums and how to deal with them. I also ordered my kiddi calm and should receive it soon. I'm not saying Kiddi calm is the answer to tantrums, but its worth a shot. At least I found a way to deal with her tantrums.

Hi Flowergirl,
We also have a bubble free and colourfree range. Perhaps you should give it a try for your LO.

You probably wont see results if only for 7 days. You also need to use the recommended amount and get the children to stay in the bath for 20mins

Email or PM me if you would like more details.

Here's what I do, B is now 2 years and 7 months or something, we've had one or two issues so far.

When an issue arises, and it does, I evaluate how I'm feeling and what's going on around me at the time. If I'm tired, stressed, not feeling well etc, I react harshly to even the tamest of requests from B which has far reaching consequences.

I'm not a mere passenger on this ride, I'm driving. So I do what I need to do to make sure we leave the house and get back to the house in a calm way. No rushing in the mornings, for that I get up at 5, every evening before bed I'll clean up as I go and weekends when daddy is here to help with B I'll cook for the week ahead. I can't do anything about work stress except leave them at the door when I walk out of the office. When I get home with B we spend 1 on 1 time together because that's what she wants/needs till daddy gets home then it's his turn till we have dinner, bath then bed.

We've become such a generation of rushers, children don't understand it because it's not something we are born with. We all know how we feel after being at work from 8 till 5, imagine how they must feel having been away from home for the same (if not more) amount of time and they are less than half our size.

So next time an altercation escalates into a full tantrum, take a moment and analyze what role you played in it.

****

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove


:: Children ALWAYS Cooperate ::

Parents often feel frustrated when their children
don't "cooperate" -- when they don't go along with the
parents' stated intentions.

Today, no matter how your child behaves, take the
perspective that your child is *always* cooperating
with you -- if not behaviorally then *vibrationally*.
Children sense their parents' "vibes" and reflect back
a similar vibration, often exaggerated in their
behavior.

For example, if your child is impatient, ask
yourself how s/he might be "cooperating" with
you vibrationally. "In what way(s) have *I* been
emanating an impatient vibe?"

If your child is resistant, ask yourself, "Am *I*
being resistant in some way?" Look beyond the
obvious and *feel* for an answer.

Fortunately, it works both ways, so that when you're
feeling joyful, your child will "cooperate" with that,
too. But depending on your established patterns of
interaction, it may take some time for your child's
*behavior* to reflect your positive vibration.

flowergirl - I too tried Kiddy Calm for my son, used it for a couple of months and he too was still restless and did not sleep well - had no effect on him. But all children are different.

All behaviours all moms here described is so PERFECTLY NORMAL and EXPECTED of a 2 year old (sometimes it begins before 2 and lasts till around 3).

I know how difficult it is to deal with a stubborn little person. I really have sympathy.
What I have realised is that I need to educate myself about this or I am going to screw this phase up with my LG. I have done a lot of reading about what is expected of a child's emotional development and I would advise you get a some understanding of your child's behaviour before you embark on some random strategy mentioned on a forum by a well meaning parent. Get a profesional opinion or someone who has done their homework in regards to parenting. 90% of the advice given in this thread makes my hair rise (just my opinion) and I am sure my child pshycologist will start to hand out her bussiness card in the midst of this thread.

Here are some threads in the past discussing similiar issues regarding toddler behaviour. I have posted a few articles from certain books in these threads that I hope might be helpfull.

www.moomie.co.za/index.php?option=com_ku...&id=200578&Itemid=82

www.moomie.co.za/index.php?option=com_ku...&id=195935&Itemid=82

www.moomie.co.za/index.php?option=com_ku...&id=204450&Itemid=82

I am also a fan of toddler sense:

www.toddlersense.co.za/articles/temper-tantrums.html

When she refers to a time-out in this above article, I understand it as an oppurtunity for the child to calm himself and NOT A PUNNISHMENT like a naughty corner. It is a time for your child to lie or sit in a special comfortable spot and "calm" herself with a special soft toy or blanket.

And another article that might help....

www.babycenter.com/0_tantrums_11569.bc

I hope this helps and good luck, I know this is a tough phase! I am begining to pick the fruits of using a calm, loving approach towards my toddler that is almost 3.
It could have been so much different if I didn't bother to do some research! Using a loving approach does not mean you don't have boundaries. There are endless great books teaching attachment parenting with good boundaries. Let me know if I should recomend a few.