Trying for a 2016 baby

Anzel:
On a more purr-like note. You can have cats - even though you are allergic. My DH has a horrible allergy when it comes to lots of things (including cats). I wanted to have a cat since after our wedding, but knowing that it would be very hard on him, I did my research and we bought a cat 3 years ago. She is a bengal and research shows that less people are allergic to bengals than to any other cats. Main Coons are also another option. Even though they have long hair, most people are also not allergic to them. Apparently it is not about the hair, but more about a certain protein in their saliva. Go and check it out - you might find a furry friend out there that you DH will be able to tolerate.

Out cat sleeps on our bed and DH is not the slightest allergic to her. Go into other people's houses who have other cat breeds...and he sneezes for the rest of the day!

@Jooste - Thank you for your encouragement. It's so hard to remain positive and optimistic while so burned out. I just want to get into bed and not leave for a whole month. Hubby just had a bad day, I suppose. This morning he is singing a different tune. Unfortunately, the mark of his words are already there. Ouch. I have two more weeks to decide about contraception. Maybe I'll have a change of heart before then. If I change my mind, I will let him know - I also don't believe it would be wise to trick him. He is, unfortunately, quite clued in and aware of where I am in my cycle - He keeps track on his own, which makes it difficult for me to not tell him about ovulation sticks, etc. He already knows! lol! So ja, it's a challenge.

@Nikita - Hubby has changed his tune from last night. He just told me that he doesn't want me to go on contraception and that we should give it one more year. This makes me pissed off. No consistency. He changes his mind every other day, and makes me miserable. Maybe I'm just having an offish day in that I am overly pessimistic and negative. Wish I had a few cats to cuddle with - Unfortunately, I have a huge allergy for both cats and dogs, so they'll make me extremely sick if I am exposed to them for more than a few hours.

Ayesha: It is a pity that your own family is not supporting you the way you need. I guess some people just not know how.

Nikita: Maybe a faint 2nd line!??

Anzel: It is terrible! I know! Hubbies just do not understand our ingrained need and biological drive to mother another human being. It cannot be explained and it is impossible to not obsess if that is what you so desperately long for. Maybe you are however overworked and that stress can make it more difficult (not to conceive however), but most definately to reason logically about it all. I for one, will not go back onto contraception. You do not need to actively try every month, but do not mess up your cycle now by going back onto the pill. A humble tip from my side: Vent all you want on the moomie forum, but try not to let your DH know where you are in your cycle or when you are seeing 2 lines or when you should be BD'ing. They feel pressuarised and they then think we are obsessed. So, keep that detail all to yourself and just seduce him when the time is right. (Obviously he should know that you are not on contraception! - So I'm not advocating for tricking a man into falling pg!)

@joo-ste I was lucky my hubby n in laws were by my side amazingly it's my own family that made me feel as though I was a failure n some still do till today cz I'm not pregnant yet it's frustrating

@Jooste any news?

@Anzel - I am so sorry that is horrible. I am even pissed off now. I am sorry that your Dh isn't more understanding, they don't really know what women go through. It is shitty enough to think that the problem lies with you and then he brings that up. I think it is time that he is honest with you about when he thinks would be the right time for a baby. Unfortunately if you wait to be financially stable we will never have kids. As for the obsession I can't really help with that, the only thing that really helps me is my 2 darling pugs. I am really sorry Anzel,I hope that DH comes to his senses quickly

HI, ladies

I am very depressed today.

CD 13 for me, and no positive OPK yet, even though I was on 100mg Fertomid - Clearly body isn't responding the way it should on the medication. There is not even a faint second line at all, like last month. Last month I got my positive OPK on the morning of CD 13, this month, nothing. It is sooo frustrating.

I have decided to ask gynae for prescription for contraceptive; I will start using it as soon as AF arrives. I am so tired of the constant stress and anxiety around the TTC - I now even have heart palpitations. Went for bloods to check iron and vitamin D levels, because I was beyond exhausted. All results came back normal. Medically speaking, there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. I can therefore not blame my exhaustion on iron or vitamin D deficiency or inflammation, or kidney failure or infection... Nada! I am as healthy as I can possible be. This frustrates me. I was hoping that I would get an answer to the chronic fatigue I am experiencing. Doctor says I am overworked and should take a holiday - As if that is going to happen anytime soon. He also suggested I get a Vitamin B 12/Co injection (which I already got on Monday) and take a booster such as Berroca (which I am also taking). Still my battery runs out by 12:00 every day...

To make things worse, hubby and I had a major fight last night. The thing is, I teach students - 200 of them every day. When I get home, I want peace and quiet. I don't want to "kuier" with friends every single weekend. He, on the other hand, works alone on the test field and becomes very lonely. He wants to "kuier" almost every night. He then decided to arrange a visit to Friends this Friday night, after we already confirmed our series night with a mutual friend. He then threw a major tantrum because I don't want to visit these friends and that I'm anti-social, blah, blah, blah. The latter is true - All those woman can talk about, is their babies, kids, pregancies... While I'm all there like: "Who wants coffee?" I don't have anything in common with them. And it hurts like hell talking about their kids, their pregnancies and their babies knowing we can't have any. I was looking forward to a quiet evening with hubby, then he fought with me.

Even worse is when he told me he doesn't want kids now. He sees kids as a financial burden; he sees himself as "neutral" to having kids. I was so pissed off. Why would he do that? I mean, make me believe it's my fault that we can't fall pregnant, meanwhile he doesn't want children. He actually called me obsessed with babies and that he is tired of listening to me complaining and crying about babies. He doesn't want to hear about my obsession any more. And he feels we can't afford babies any how.

Therefore, I have decided to make our lives easier and start contraceptive again. In doing this, there is no risk of having babies that will be a burden to hubby who believes we can't afford them. It will also make me feel better with my hormones being in control - skin will clear, hair will stop falling out, moodiness will disappear, periods will also disappear. It may not be the answer to the problem, but it will sure as hell stop the fighting.

How to get rid of this obsession?? Any ideas?

Apologies for the rant - I just wanted to get it off my heart and out of my system. I know you ladies would understand.

Also apologies for not addressing each one individually - My heart aches and I just need some comfort. Good luck to all of you!

Hello everyone!

Ayesha: Your story is really so sad. I'm so sorry. I cannot imagine after feeling so depressed after my 8 weeks MC, how you must feel. I trust that you have very supportive family and a very dear husband to support you through this. I am just very relieved to read that you know what was the reason for you early delivery and that you know what your POA is for when you fall pg this time. It helps to know what to do next.

Nikita: Can't help laughing at your sore butt and legs!! Ha ha!! Guess you made sure this month that there was lots of action between the sheets!! Ha ha!!

Chanti: Do you still have pain now that you are on the VIsanne - or are you painfree.

Praying4M: Hugs to you. I can remember feeling the worst kind of anger and sadness during those cycles when AF played a trick on me and arrived a couple of days late. I would then buy myself a large box of Lindt-chocolate balls and eat them all by myself.

AFM: I'm on CD29 today and as we used Femara this month and I did feel the OV-pains (this was an unmonitored TI cycle) - I know that I did OV. Did a cheapie brand stripp test yesterday late afternoon - but it was a BFN. STill no AF this morning - so I looked through my cupboards and got a pink box Clicks brand test. Currently sitting and waiting to see if there is a 2nd line...