Confinement period

Lordy my post isn't up there again.. I really need to make sure it actually worked...

I suspect your problem is like mine was - you think they are gonna take over or interfere or critisize..

They will obviously try, just bark at them the very first time and everytime after... this rule esp also applied to my mom.
Recently my MIL said "'sally' can be so lucky you're not her DIL???" whatever the hell thats suppose to mean? But I dont care i decided from the beginning i dont mind hurting a adults feelings if it will spare my childs and I've stuck to it.

For example:
MIL cant believe I'm gonna BF till J is 2! She rollls her eyes everytime she sees me nursing him. I DONT CARE.
SIL use to say "Surely J is only nursing once a day now"... at 9 months?

Anyway the point i'm making is you'll be surprised how strong you can be dont worry, let them 'interfere', just dont do what they tell you to do if you dont agree.. you'll be fine. PROMISE

What I have decided to do is set strong boundaries for his parents, as I have for my own, we have a certain way we'd like to raise Amelia and If either of them disrespect our wishes, as they have at the beginning then we will decide whether having them in her life would be best for her. I don't believe that they have any right towards her. What is it with everyone thinking they automatically have the right to see and touch a baby, even strangers, I would never go up to someone and open a covered baby to have a look... but that's just me... I didn't want a baby because I thought babies were cute, I wanted to have a family.

Tiagosmom - WTF! who said 40 people could just arrive?! I would told them all to eff and showed them my leaking boobs or something!!! Blady hell!! The nerve!

PS. Paragraphs make things alot to easier to read x

So let me share my experience with this confinement story ( or lack thereof). So when T was born I came home the day before he did as he was on a drip in nicu and the paed wanted him to finish his antibiotics before going home so anyway I got home on the Friday and other than my mom I didnt have 1 person who came to see me(thank goodness because I was so out of it) so anyway the next morning I barely slept that night, next morning woke up with HUGE HUGE ROCK HARD boobs and we needed to go fetch T from the hospital to bring him home, I barely had time to do anything about the boobs ( just jumped in the shower to try get them ok again) anyway we got to the hospital fetched T came home and as I got home I was "Welcomed" by 40 guests ! Can you imagin I barely had time to get to know my baby myself because of him being in nicu then I get home to 40 people poking and proding my baby and still have to deal with these boobs! I wanted to die thank goodness my mom entertained them while I locked myself in the room with baby half the time. He mustve been held for brief periods by about 20 people that day ( because you know how it is how can you allow this aunt and not that aunt) NEVER NEVER NEVER again will I allow that. And then best of all our first night with him at home wasnt great so by day 2 we were exhausted and then the same cousin of mine that forbid us from coming to visit her for 2 weeks after having her baby rocked up at my house at 8pm and sat there talking crap till 11pm! I was so cross. So anyway I get that the whole confinement period thing would never work in my family ( everyone is way into eachothers lives ) but next time I would definitely learn to say "no my child has just fallen asleep or already been passed around like a bag of potatoes so no you cant hold him" or atleast try explain to people to come visit at normal hours and when it suits me and not all 40 ! People can be very unreasonable and honestly they dont give a dam about seeing you they actually just want to see what the baby looks like and then give you every little advise they've ever heard ( making you even more confused). So I dont think that the whole locking yourself up and expecting no one to come see you is realistic if anything else but lay rules down for people and if you need to lock yourself in a room to breastfeed then bugger them they must entertain themselves while you do so.

2kidmamma wrote: Ditto, RM, JOli, Charneney, Jems & Elamsmom. This all seems a bit far fetched. Take it from one who has been through serious PND. Secluding yourself for such a length of time is not a great idea for one and for 2 I think that withholding the right of your Partners family to even see your child in the first two months where your own mother and sister have had the opportunity to already see and even hold your baby is somewhat selfish but that's just my opinion.

Note to self, read all the posts first before replying. NitaC, I see the situation is not ideal but still as Missemom says you might just be causing further ructions.

Ditto, RM, JOli, Charneney, Jems & Elamsmom. This all seems a bit far fetched. Take it from one who has been through serious PND. Secluding yourself for such a length of time is not a great idea for one and for 2 I think that withholding the right of your Partners family to even see your child in the first two months where your own mother and sister have had the opportunity to already see and even hold your baby is somewhat selfish but that's just my opinion.

Ok, just so I have this right, your family has seen and held the baby and his hasn't?
You may be causing more problems here than you would like. No matter how you feel about them, playing sides like that is going to cause even more resentment than ever.
You have a baby now, and that baby is also part of them - and a baby can do wonderful things in bringing a family closer together.

good luck