Confinement period

er, time line shows baby at nearly 2 months old ....... I think it might be time to move past confinement, just a little bit.


Baby #1 - mother came over as I got home from hospital. Day 2 had to do shopping. Day 3 took baby to a house warming -and we were not the first to leave. Day 4 I went to a braai and played soccer with a toddler.

Baby #2 - day one Kennith's grandparents came to visit. Day 2 - I walked up Jamieson steps at UCT for Kennith's graduation ceremony. Have you seen how many steps there are at Jamieson steps. Day # 3 I had to go to a graduation party.

Baby # 3 - day out of hospital, had to go to a dinner with 8 or 10 (I forget) people. Day 2 my husband invited people over for lunch that I prepared.

It is possible to have a baby and sort of continue with a semblance of normal life .....

I agree with Joli. Maybe put yourself in their shoes and understand that they want to see your baby because they are family and love your LG. Being family they also need to bond with her in a way. I didn't mind family and friends visiting me in the first weeks after having my son (in fact welcomed the company), but I wasn't always comfortable handing my LB over to be held by everyone.

Why not try a couple of short visits, and if it really makes you uncomfortable you can always stop them. You never know, it may be a joy to see your LG surrounded by other people who also love her.

I guess it's the way you want it and everyone should understand, but I think I would also be upset if I can't see my son's baby within the first month one day. I don't think short visits will interfere with your daily life. Can't you perhaps be a bit more accommodating, i.e. set strict 'visiting hours' for when it suits you so people can at least get to see the baby?

Second possible way of looking at it:

My experience (at it might be very limited) is that friends/friend's girlfriends/wives who seek these "confinement periods" appear to be really high maintenance people.

And seem to go on to treat their children like fine bone china from this point onwards.

My best is still my DH' best friend - at one point he phoned us and said "please come over and see our baby."

I think it was 4 - 6 weeks in, I can't recall.

We were like: "Yes but M does not want anyone there as you guys are meant to be bonding."

He was: "Please for gawd sake come over, don't phone, arrive unannounced, she will be angry, but it will be fine....please come over, please."

Us: "Dude if you are scared of your wife, imagine what we are! Catch you when he turns one!"

The point being, it was really drastic, and actually I felt an overriding urge to go over and shake some sense into her.

I did not - and respected what ever it was that she had going on.


Trust me - at some point, and it is not that far in the future, you and that baby are going to be sitting there staring at each other and you will be begging for company, or wondering why you do not seem to have a social life anymore.

Being a mom does not mean life stops - it simply takes a path, but a lot of people carry on and manage to juggle life and a baby, without it appearing like they are "look at me I have just had a baby!"

<ignore this post and refer to first one if that is more to your liking, I am strongly medicated, so my stop valve between brain and mouth is impaired>

I will give two view points ........

I think it is great that you take a bit of time and enjoy the sublime joy that is you, your child and your partner.

Enjoy in it, revel in it, celebrate every part.

It is your family you get to set the rules, and it really does not matter what anyone says or thinks.

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

It's understandable and it's your right to have it the way you want it. No one can be angry at you, you are a first time mom so it is quite an adjustment.

I must admit I was total opposite, I couldn't wait to show off my LG (at reasonable times though) I don't know how I would have made it the first week or two without the help of my mother and sister in law. Luckily they knew their places so they didn't make a nuisance of themselves.