Dear Sleep Trainer Expert

Niki, well said. I've got a strong willed Madam at home, too!

Babies are just as different in their personalities as adults are. That's why I also don't believe in strict routines...but that's another story for a new thread on a new day

RM, just shows you how different we all are. I never expected my baby to sleep through (I actually didn't even know some babies do) and the first few months were actually a breeze for me. It only started getting really tough for us at 6 months and beyond. I did try Julz's sleep training method once and it was hell for both, Lilly and me. In fact, it stressed me out so much that afterwards I decided to just change my expectations and try to live with the fact that she's not the best of sleepers. I didn't see nighttime parenting as a chore any longer but tried to be more understanding and loving (I am NOT saying moms who sleep trained aren't loving and understanding!). Sleeping through is a developmental milestone and in my opinion, sleep training (I'm referring to CIO sleep training here) is forcing this milestone.

This is just an endless debate! Bottom line is: we all need to do what works for us and our families. I'm sure our children will all turn out reasonably ok in the end.

RM and Julz, it seems your offspring were quite happy to be sleep trained, but I think it is not just about a parents willingness to sleep train, but also the child.

RM,your lucky that it only took you 6 nights at the most to train all your children, as you said your kids were always happy to go to bed, since birth Paige has always fought her sleep, day and night, But I tried mild sleep training, putting Paige in her cot and getting her to fall asleep on her own, I would stay in the room and reassure her, but she had to fall asleep on her own. the first 7 - 10 days there was crying, but I fought through it thinking it will get better and we will all get some sleep. it took us a whole month before she would go to sleep on her own wihtout a fight , although she learnt to fall asleep on her own in her cot, she still wakes up at night and cries.

and now she has got teeth, started crawling and standing , the sleep routine has gotten worse, I wish it was as easy as 6 nights of a bit of crying and then we would all sleep, but I am afraid thats just not going to happen with my child.

So I have accepted it is what it is for now, when she wakes up I try settle her and get her to go to sleep on her own, but if she continues to cry we pick her up.

Not every child is so easily trained

I agree RM. I think every child has the capability of sleeping through, but not all parents have the capability of suffering through the training which i totally get.

I have changed Dylan's clothes, and linen with the light on without waking him up. That is seriously sleeping soundly.

Yaz wrote: Why are so many of us entering into parenthood believing babies should be sleeping through the night? Just one look at the shelves at Exclusive Books should teach us that this is one of THE biggest myths. Why are there so many books about baby's sleep if it was the norm for them to sleep through?

Then either I have a very strange genetic pool, or possibly I decided to write my own manual.

My kids sleep through the night and generally have since around 3 - 5 months.

I am not wanting to get on my soap box, but my kids sleep through the night. Really!

I do not abandon them and medicate them to do so - I sleep trained my children, and really the longest it took was 6 days. (by day 5 it is sorted).

As soon as they are able to take in sufficient food(milk) to get through a period of time, they sleep through the night.

Yes, I do have the odd night where a child is niggly, often because they are upset of have had a bad dream, or are not well. However I can go in, and wake my children up and say something to them, and they will roll over and go back to sleep quite happily wthout making a fuss.

My kids are secure and have always gone to bed without a fight.

I tell anyone who will listen that they can sleep train their child, if they choose to, and want to. But I do get that for many moms they prefer not to (or what ever).

I think there is a misconception that a mom must be up a dozen times a night or stand there rocking her child until her elbows bleed - really there are other ways, and I am not suggesting that it is cruel and inhuman.

I chose to go about it differently - I did not read "the books" to understand sleep or how to put my child into a cot. I sort of fumbled through it by myself.

I needed sleep, my baby is a baby, and I am busy training him (at the time) to do a lot of things. Sleep was just another one of the things I was training.

I just wanted to counter this whole "children need to wake up half a dozen times and moms with young babies need to be sleep deprived" thing.

Yes the first 6 - 8 weeks are hell on earth, and you are in total baby-demand time, but at a certain point it can shift, and it is a natural shift.

Claudia they say a 5 hour stretch is baby sleeping through. I am happy to have a child that sleeps from 7 30 to 3 30 and then climbs into bed with us until 5 30. That is fine with me. The only issue is that you have to then go to bed really early to benefit from that nice long stretch and if you have insomnia that is a bigge issue. I get about 3 hours of good sleep a night. Not enough.

acceptance is key. I was alot calmer when I realised that Dylan was not a good sleeper. He still isn't though. I suspect he has a breathing problem which we need to look at so that may be the cause but none the less it is important to accept that life is not going to be the same, but it depends on each case. I know with me I had isses at the same time so after 7 months I really needed the sleep.

Tending to your baby does instill trust. i believe that so with my form of sleep training you do tend to the child. Every few minutes to reassure the child and I only did it at 7 months so baby is a bit older.

To this day if Dylan cries in his bed at night I go to him straight away. I can't leave a child to cry because there may be an issue.