Dear Sleep Trainer Expert

I am from a different camp. I KNOW that sleep training is best for not only me, but also for Emily, yet I cannot bring myself to do it. I know this because she used to be sleep trained and then her nanny (my mom) "broke" her! All my hard work down the drain. I sleep trained my child without letting her cry AT ALL and I was damn proud of myself. She went to sleep on her own from 3.5 months until 7 months old - no hassles. Then she decided that she preferred to be rocked to sleep

I have tried to sleep train her again thereafter on more than one occassion, but it is just so emotionally exhausting for me so I usually give up after night 2 or 3. Sad part is that by NOT sleep training her, I actually feel like I am doing her a disservice because I know that she needs her sleep (as we all do) and I know that she sleeps soooo much better when she is has fallen asleep on her own. I also want her to be independent and not need me all the time - I want to teach her this from a young age. I am obviously always here for her when she needs me and I will make damn sure that she knows that. I do not think that sleep training your child, means that you are not there for them, it's the way you do it.

So for now, Emily goes to sleep between 7.30 and 8.00 every night, and stays in her cot until somewhere between 2 and 5AM - then she comes to my bed and tries to climb back into my tummy for the remainder of the night (seriously, I am CONVINCED that is what she is trying to do.

One day, one day I will be brave enough to sleep train again. I wait patiently for that day........

Hi Ladies. This resonates with me. I am very much anti-sleep training. Unless it involves no crying. But then as a life long insomniac I was able to cope with lack of sleep. So I was never really desperate.
But as RM says: to each his own. I am a happy co-sleeper who has to lie next to E for him to fall asleep. I am totally cool with it. I spent the biggest part of my day away from him and this way we get to bond at the end of the day.

MissesMom wrote: I went through a stage when I had such terrifiying nightmares that I can still to this day remember them, and they are still scary! My mother locked her door on me. I slept on the passage floor. I am to this day terrified of sleeping in a dark house.

Flash back moment.

I have not thought about this in YEARS.

I was really small, I was really afraid of the dark (I still am.)
I was more afraid of waking my mother, that I slept in the passage pushed up against her bedroom door - I can still remember the tartan blanket I clutched.
I was too shit scared to open her bedroom door - though she did not lock it.

I was probably 5.

I have not thought about that for years .... wow what a flash back moment.

<for the record, Connor has just come in to my room it is 21h24 and he is a bit scared - his dad is away and he gets bit scared/nervous if one of us is out of the hosue - I said he can sleep on Kennith's side of the bed for a little bit and he can go back to bed soon .... I can hear him snoring softly .....which is very sweet and I am tempted to leave him to sleep there through the night ..... see I am not the heartless bitch you think I am>

MM Dylan is always welcome in our bed. If he needs us we are there for him. He mostly joins us at about 4 in the morning and goes back to sleep with us which is actually nice except for when he sticks his fingers in your nose or rolls on you etc. The rule is that he goes to sleep in his own bed and room though.

We have an open door policy in our home.

Hopefully by the time she goes to college and is weaned off the props mentioned by RM she'll be sleeping in her own bed.

Night night, ladies

I'm a co-sleeping mommy, and I do this for myself. I personally sleep better with my baby near me. I had a hard time when we eventually put Em in her own room.
She was a child who just didn't sleep. She didn't cry, she just didn't sleep. Neither DH or I had the energy or strenght to sleep train. I was terrified of her dying in her sleep.

I cringe when I see people sleep training newborns (a friend with twins who had come home after 7 weeks in hospital, and they were promtly put in seperate bedrooms and doors shut - I felt it was pure evil)

However, my issues are personal, I was never allowed in my parents bedroom, let along bed. I went through a stage when I had such terrifiying nightmares that I can still to this day remember them, and they are still scary! My mother locked her door on me. I slept on the passage floor. I am to this day terrified of sleeping in a dark house. I also until this year did not have a good relationship with my mother, and I simply felt if perhaps I had felt more cared for in ym time of need as a child I would have been closer to her.
Anyways, Em now goes to bed at 7pm, I read her a story, sometimes sing a song and then walk out and turn off the light.

Kate doesn't like to cuddle. She doesn't cry and she sleeps for min 5 hours between feeds. So I dont think getting her to sleep will be a problem at all. I am doing things differently. I still have her in my bed from 3am, when my arms are too darn tired to lift her and put her back into her cot, my DH sometimes come to bed and asks for me to put her in his arms. Its just the way we are. I will be giving her water in a bottle from 6 months and cutting out night time feeds. But I have a feeling it wont even get to this.

lol.. you guys..
I laugh about all this now that we're down to one nap and J goes to sleep easily (most nights anyway) But last year this is all I wanted to know about! And I practically did throw him against a wall, daily.. The term 'rocking him out the window' comes to mind. haha.
So I have almost nothing to say on the topic except that: he's only little
And: I dont think he can be trained...
He's very naughty