Dear Sleep Trainer Expert

The original post pretty much sums it up for me.. It's basically whats running through my head every time I ever consider it. I feel bad for him.
I'm not sure however that all the emotional breakdowns I've had over the past year was much/any better though. I've gotten super mad at him not wanting to sleep. Esp when we were on the 3 naps a day stage.
I really wish I never considered he could even be trained and I really wish I didn't read sleep sense. If I could do it all over, I wouldn;t make such a fuss about it.
i get why people sleep train, it just makes me very uncomfortable.
I think if I hadn't done so much reading and then reading the other side etc etc. I would have also gotten the 'natural shift' RM speaks of. But I had too much back round noise going on in terms of the sleep thing.
Dont get me wrong I have also benefited lots from educating myself, just not on the sleep thing.
It's hard to explain, but yeah. For me I try to accomadate him as much as possible...

Dylan was a colic baby that cried continually from 3-9 every day. He slept for two short naps of 10 minutes each time. I was his dummy and I held him almost all of the time. I started work at 4 months. Pure bliss and then he was up every hour on the hour during the night. It was much needed and for me yes maybe selfish but not so that I could sleep for 8 straight hours but to be able to sleep for maybe 3. Again my therapist wanted me to go to hospital and I couldnt leave my son like that so this was the next best thing for us.

There are babies that are really difficult. It seems little girls are stronger willed than little boys. My friend had to medicate her child for a few nights to get baby into the habit of sleep.

I think it is all about payback. I was a hectic colic baby that gave my mom a traumatised birth. I broke my nose during the birth hence a few of my nose issues now so I guess I got the colic baby with reflux etc etc etc.

My therapist who refues to lable people said that Dylan was what they called hypervigillant. Neil looked after him for one week and was shattered by it so he wasn't easy, but he has learned to be with routine. He is very strong willed so there is a fine line between breaking his spirit which I refuse to do while still keeping some form of dicipline in the home.

I guess each child is different and our own experience and personality determine what is best for our kids.

It makes for interesting threads.

I had colic until I was 3!!

My mom loves to tell me her horror stories - often.

I must confess when Isabelle came along I was sure it was payback right there.

I don't know why I can't use the quote function anymore suddenly. Anyway...

Niki, exactly what my mom and my DH are saying lol I take it we'll also get sweet vendetta one day when Paige and Lilly are struggling with high needs babies on their own

I am really greatful for RM and Julz's advice about sleep training when my LO was about 8 months. They really saved me.

After I have succesfully sleeptrained my LO with actually very little trauma to my baby it seemed, I was convinced this is a "easy-success-recipe". Shortly after this I told my clinic sister about my success and she replied that sleeptraining works wonders for certain babies, but from her experience, it doesn't work for all babies. She said that she trained her first 2 babies with this method, so when the 3rd baby arived, she knew she had it all figured out. Nothing she did helped this child to sleep through!!

I think there are some basic routine structure "guidelines" that are good to follow that could benefit your baby (and the parents). But I do recognise that all babies are diferent and not all babies will respond well even to these "comonly practised" guidelines.

RM, at least your over it now and they seem to be sleeping well now... As you said it was rough but didnt seem to take you too long.

I just get irritated with mothers who keep telling me to sleep train it will only take a week... it does not with my child

As Yaz says its an endless debate... Each to thier own, at the end of the day I guess we all just fumbling through Motherhood... hoping we dont damage our little ones

My mother seems to think Pagie is payback, I was a terrible sleeper and ended up sleeping in my parents bed forever .... revenge for my mother

Yaz, its amazing how they can be so stubborn my DH seems to think its a trait she got form me

Niki - possibly I have given the wrong impression!!!

They are NOW HAPPY to go to sleep by themselves. They did not arrive this way.

Please bear in mind I had Isabelle who was like an exercise in futility and showed me the true abyss that is motherhood.

I was breastfeeding her every 2 - 3 hours because she was so niggly, all the time. She cried all day - if she was not being rocked by me she was crying.

She was also not sleeping unless she was in my bed - and then I was not sleeping.

She was only sleeping if I walked around like a zombie and rocked her constantly.

She showed all the symptoms of having colic - other than not having colic.

So, just to counter the "ease of my kids" - I had Rosemary's Baby there in full technicolour.

My husband (later on) confided in me that he really hated her as she never stopped screaming and he seriously could not take it any more.

I convinced myself that she was "too difficult" and "really too niggly to train" so I opted out because "this one was untrainable as she was so high maintenance".

I kept her in my room.
I kept her in my bed.
I kept feeding her because when she was feeding then she was not screaming.

Because she cried all the freaking time - I used to go to the toilet with her against me rocking her to stop her from crying. (ever try wiping your bum and rocking a baby, quite a trick!)

Isabelle = not easy baby.
Isabelle = mommy going loopy!

But ...... at some point, K stepped in and realised I had lost the plot and I was "creating my own nightmare" and "teaching my child habits" that were leading to my slow glide into insanity and the promise of probably never sleeping again.

I went out to bookclub - quickly so I could get back in time for my 12 hour rocking marathon.

He gave her a bottle of expressed milk, he put her in her cot in her room, and said good night.

I got home and baby was sleeping. On her own. In her bed. By herself.

Yes, she had cried, as you would expect, but she had then gone "okay, and gone to sleep"

Day #2 we did the same, she did however go a bit ape as I was there and she would clearly much rather be rocked by me.

So the sleep training was not easy - and I spent many a cry in the passage.

But it was manageable, once I committed to the outcome.


Please do not confuse my kids sleeping now with being easy sleepers as newborns. I have the psyciatrist bills over the period to prove otherwise!

<just to reiterate baby #2 arrived and my husband disappeared on a work trip that then turned into climbing Killimanjaro, and I was going through full blown depression - and somehow I still sleep trained. So I do want to counter the fact that my children were not these sweet meak sleeping lambs while I blissfully skipped down the passage and lay them down to slumber!>