When to have your 2nd child?

Jems wrote:

Juno I have suggested this to a few of my friends who were thinking of having babies close together - come spend some time at my house, between 5 and 8pm is a good time or between 6 and 8am on a working morning and then you'll see if you want to do it still!

It's like this even in my house and we have a3 year Gap! LOL

lol jems.

Juno I have suggested this to a few of my friends who were thinking of having babies close together - come spend some time at my house, between 5 and 8pm is a good time or between 6 and 8am on a working morning and then you'll see if you want to do it still!

I like the idea of a 3-4 year age gap purely because I feel that I have then devoted enough time to the first. Children are only truly independent from around age 3 or so some studies show anyway.

Juno I think it is fairly easy to want another when your lo is 5 months old. 5 months is a stunning age, but when your lo starts walking it is really tough and I couldn't imagine having a toddler who I can't reason with properly and a baby at the same time.

Juno wrote:

Not sure where this topic flls under. In any case..

I'm curious to know from the mums with 2 or more kids what factors were taken into consideration in deciding when to have the 2nd one.

I have a 5 month old and am starting to think about the when for my 2nd. The thought of having 2 under 2 yrs however is rather daunting but I don't have age on my side..

we have a 3 year gap and it has worked very very well. My LG is quite self sufficient and able to comprehed what is required of her to make it all go smoothly. I think a gap of anything more than 4 years could result in the children having very little in common and later on in life not being able to have a lot that they can relate to or share and liking or being interested in too many different things. I have seen this with plenty of friends of mine who's siblings are much older and i don't want that for my kids. I am not saying it will be like this for everybody but it is a possibility.

I tend to agree with Reluctant Mom and Joli on this one. A 4 year gap is proberly the way to go. I have a 2 yr gap between mine and am really finding things tough. My youngest is now 6 months old. I find I have zero time to myself. At night sometimes I think I should make a bed in the passage because if it is not the one getting me up then it is the other. I must admitt things are starting to slowly get better but the last 6 months have been really hard. I have not had a life. I love my kids dearly and would not be without either of them but be warned a 2 yr or smaller gap makes life hard so be prepared.

My youngest was also colicy and used to cry most of the day and night for the first 4 months. I had zero time for my 2yr old at that time. My mistake was I bargained on the fact that my youngest would be an easy baby like my first but boy was I wrong.

This is personal preference. There are however benefits to having a smaller gap.

But whatever you decide you will just cope.