Trying for a 2017 Baby

Liza / Anzel

Unfortunately a MC tends to take away some (or most!) of the inital joy out of seeing those double lines. I was overjoyed seeing a BFP!! Cannot tell you how happy I was

But...after my first MC - I was happy....but cautious during our BFP in Feb. And, so shocked (!) when the beta levels started to drop and I started bleeding within less than 10 days of seeing the double lines. And then....with the last BFP in April - I can honestly tell you that my thoughts were:
"okay - so lets try again and see if this works"

and my husband looked at the digital (I tied a big yellow bow around it) and he said
"I am happy for you hunny"


(He told me later ...after I miscarried the last baby...that he did not know what else to say. He feels numb at this stage and although we both will keep on trying, we both have the feeling that we will only start to celebrate once we reach the 12 week mark.

So sad - every little nunu should stirr up instant excitement -

@Annabelle - I normally start testing with OPK's from CD11, but I have a shortish cycle. Only 27 days. I then normally ovulate on CD13/14. So if your cycle is 30 days, start testing from CD12/13. You will eventually figure out a pattern. Good luck!

@Megs - My period is also only 2 days, max. So glad I'm not the only one with such a short cycle! Thank you - We are doing better emotionally. Sometimes the frustration just gets to me. I feel so powerless. I am so used to make everything happen in life - If I want something, Ill do everything I can to make it happen. But with this I cannot. I have to wait for God's grace, mercy and favor. I believe He knows the desires of my heart and He knows my questions and fears and hurt. Our timing is just not His. He has a bigger plan with a double blessing in store for us. I'm sure of it. With my Sister in law pregnant, it makes it so much harder to make peace with this loss. We were about three weeks apart - She got to keep her baby, mine was taken away. And I'm prone to jealousy and bitterness about it. I just pray for God's peace in all this. Terrible, but I know He has a plan.

@Ayesha - Please keep us updated! Fx'ed for your BFP!

@MsR - Hormones can drive one crazy, I know. Good luck to you! Maybe you should get yourself checked out for kidney or bladder infection? Just for in case. Thinking of you!

@Jooste and Liza - I agree - I'm also praying for a sticky bean next time. I never thought I would become a statistic. I never thought I would fall pregnant just to lose the baby again. You know what, the day I found out I was pregnant on a Clicks early protection test, we went to the mall to get a clearblue digital. As I was walking around in the shops, so afraid that the clearblue will be negative, I prayed and said God, You are not cruel. You won't give me something I want so badly and then take it away. The clearblue was positive and I was overjoyed. Four weeks later, I lost the baby. And now I'm wondering, why would God do that? I realised that He didn't do it, He allowed it as a test of faith. God is a God of life, not death. So I refuse to believe that my baby died because He decided so. No. I believe that the enemy took the book and God allowed it, to test my faith and perseverance. It is very very hard, still. And I am so yearning for another pregnancy and a baby. But now I'm paranoid. If and when I fall pregnant again, it is up to God I know, but If I do, I will probably be very very paranoid and anxious. I'll be so scared that it is going to happen again. So scared to love the baby and get all excited and take a lot of pictures. I remembered a few nights ago that after I found out I was pregnant, and what the due date was, I went and bought some baby clothing in newborn sizes for the hot summer months. I won't be able to use that anymore, as I lost the baby and even if I do get pregnant again soon, it will not be summer anymore when baby is due. So I am miserable today. Just feel so powerless and frustrated with the whole thing. I was hoping that the pink blob of cm I had on Sunday would be implantation, but I'm afraid that must have been due to hormones or something else, cause I tests and got a BFN. So I'm just depressed today... Friday will be three weeks after the miscarriage and even though I am doing better emotionally, it is still so very hard. It is so nice to be able to talk about it to women who understand what I am going through.

Hey Annabelle,

Yeah more and more confusing each month.
I have slight CM kind of discharge that continues even today. its very slight and only when I wipe. sorry TMI.
currently on CD 5..
the backache and headache continues. I have been peeing continuously I mean I can go to the toilet like 3 times in a hour with a full bladder.
i'm really feeling like a crazy person.
i'm starting to wonder if perhaps I have a kidney infection that would explain the constant urination and backache.

@ Jooste & Anzel this is the same "fear" that i am living with. After having a M/C you pray for getting a BFP then we also pray for a sticky bean. It's very emotional and i still think about the M/C and the roller coaster of emotions i went threw. I really do not want to go threw that again.

Like Anzel i was also PG with my little stepsister. She had a baby boy and i had a M/C. That was the most grueling 9 months of my life. Shopping with her, having the baby shower and now still i look at her boy and wonder how life would have been like if our bean stuck around ...

Anzel
It took me 3yrs 2 months to fall pg with our first born (after several TI medicated cycles, 2 IUI's and finally an IVF)
It took us just 3 months to fall pg with our 2nd born (while BF the first) and au-natural!

It took us 6 months to fall pg au-natural the 3rd time (while BF the 2nd) - but had missed MC and D&E at 8 weeks
Then after that it took us 3 months to fall pg on Femara (2.5mg) - MC at 5 weeks
Then only 2 months to fall pg after that on Femara again - MC at 5 weeks

So - the bottom line. There is surely no clear trend in this all and every month has the potential to succeed!
Currently this is my first cycle after the LAP and we have used Femara again. Also, felt sharp OV pains on both sides, so I know that we have a chance...

Praying really hard...
not only to fall pg, but to stay pg as well-

@Annabelle: thank you so much for the positivity! Fingers crossed!

Thanks ladies ima hold out n try testing again on monday or sunday, i have the symptoms but im not sure my hubby is stressed out n has taken to smoking outside incase im pregnant