When does dicipline start?

Gloeiwurmpie, Ive noticed kids tend to use that word 'no' before it actually resonates with 'them'.
Rm, your daughter sounds cute!!! Dancing around the room with her panties on her head... how can you not laugh.

Thanks for this topic ladies....

I hope my "between parent and child" book comes soon, because although we love our staffie to bits, he have her about 68% under controll. Jikes. I need that book fast. Every day my LO (17 months) tests me more and more and I feel really panicky as what to do.

I say "No" in a firm voice, but she doesn't seem to register, as everyday she does the same thing again (like tearing pieces of the underfelt carpet off in great amazement)

How long untill this "No" thing sinks in?

I totally agree, there is a fine line between being able to discipline your child and scaring the living crap out of them.

I have this voice I use - I save it for what I rank as severe occasions. It is a mix between Freddy Kruger (Nightmare on Elm Street fame) and Poltergeist.

It actually makes my throat sore when I use it.

But - when I use it, my kids literally drop what ever they are doing, or stop what ever they think they might do and go and do what I have told them to do - usually now for the third or fourth time!

Listen - it actually scares me a bit.

But as much of a b*tch as I am, I also sometimes am standing there repeating the same instruction - for like the third time - and my daughter is still dancing around the room with her panties on her head.

We all struggle with the same thing, no one's kid is perfect, and our kids tune us out all the time.

As said earlier, I also pick my fights.

But I must confess, that if I overlook something today, because I think it makes today easier for me, I can guarantee it will come and bite me in the arse tomorrow and make the next day twice as painful.

Often I feel really bad to enforce a rule - because I look at my son's really sad face, and I think "shame man, give the guy a break" - but, then I think, sure I can, but what is he going to learn from this - I got away with it because I cried/whined/did my sad puppy face and that will just mean next time I can do the same thing, and odds are I will get away with it if I can just work around mom.

Discipline is really hard work - but it has long term benefits.

I am a really busy mom/person/human - and I just do not have the time to argue with my kids about "stuff." So there are pre-determined rules and everyone follows them.

If I am standing arguing with my daughter about x, it means I have less time to spend with the other two.

Kids can use disobedience as a way to get attention from a parent/carer - even if it is negative attention, so I also do not want to encourage that sort of behaviour.

So I need them all to follow a flow else it is total chaos.

No man Marilu, I'm not saying that the mother is pathetic, just that the situation is kind of sad to watch.

I had a very similar discussion with my mother the other day. My oldest sister always did as she was told, sometimes more than was asked of her, my middle sister did what was expected of her but you shouldn't tell her what to do because then she got mad, but she'd do it in her own time. Then came me 6 years after the last and sometimes I feel that my parents just gave up. Saying that hurts my mother but nothing was ever expected of me and there was no consequences for not doing something, which has now followed me into adulthood.

Marijke then I'm probably the pathetic mother standing there holding my almost-toddler's hand telling her not to hit me (with a frown on my face and my sternest voice I can master). After the third time I usually put her down and then there's the lovely tantrum. Obviously if I'm in a shopping centre I can't put my baby down and walk away.

Anyway, will try your suggestions Julz. I probably have to practice my mommy voice as well as 'the look'. I got hidings as a child and no 'the-looks' so that's probably why I'm struggling with it.

Memo I have the same problem with migs 'klapping' me while I'm getting her to sleep. And I think that's out of frustration when she's overtired.

RM, I had a tears-rolling-down-my-face laugh at your theory this morning - probably because I also share your theory.

I have two perfectly trained, well behaved Staffies. I am very strict with them although they are children in the house and amongst other things, sleep in our room etc. Rules of dog training

mom is the leader of the pack, dog needs to obey

raise, your voice when needed, give rewards when needed

consistency & lots of love

(All very appropriate to child raising in my opinion.)

This was very easy and natural with my dog children. Before giving birth I decided to follow the same approach with my LO and hopefully get the same results.

Enter Zhanelle and in practice my theory has holes:

what will the impact of mommy making the decisions be on the longterm mental state of LO?

is yelling/smacking the best option or should I take a more phychological approach?

I know I might be crusified for this, but have wondered whether all the info we have from media/internet/friends in todays world, is not more negative on us than help?

My parents used the basics of "dog training theory" in raising us. We are perfectly balanced, well behaved, adults (and children).

Maybe going back to basics is an approach I should look into!!

I'm also really missing the Like button!!
Yip, I was on the "please dont hit/hurt my baby" issue recentlly with a friends toddler. I dont want my boy to hit and I've always believed when it happens the very first time, I will treat it like a heart attack! But now! my lb scratches and pinches when for instance he doesn't want to go to sleep, and dont think he's purposefully hurting me, but he defs is acting out in anger! So...