Advice re amniocentesis

solo - definitely raise a red flag.

This is not a procedure which you stumble in to, and take what is offered. This is one of those "life changing" ones where you are given information/options/advise and counselling.

Just on another point, your BF sounds like a total wanker!

There is nothing in his character that suggests you should be around him. His reaction to the pregnancy, his comments on you, his comments on the amnio - seriously what is he offering that is going to help/support/nurture you going forward?

What ever drove you to get naked and do the funky chicken with him, should not be the reason you stay with him any longer.

I am not sure why you are having a "if we break up" - this sounds like the kind of guy who I would not stand in a queue next to, let alone allow him in a 50 foot radius of me and my unborn child.

But he is your guy, and he may have several good points - however nothing here you have described really paint him as a guy worth keep around. (if this was a friend treating you like this, you would dump their arse, defriend them and pray that you never have to see their stupid face again ....)

Reluactant mom, thanks for your input! As it happens I also went to Kingsbury Fetal Assessment centre and first saw Karen Norman and then Shannon Morris and I must say that in spite of the overall traumatic nature of the experience I found them both to be absolutely brilliant! Besides doing the scans they counselled me at length both before and after the scans and the amnio. They were extremely detailed and also gave me a whole written report each time.

Before that I went to see another dr at Panorama and she just rushed through the scan, did not give me complete information or a report for that matter.

So yes, I totally agree, it makes a HUGE difference which dr you see for these procedures and that is especially true for the amnio. Dr Morris does a huge amount of amnios and has excellent statistics in this regard.

So Solo, ask your dr about how many amnios he's done and what has MC stats are.

Sorry want to butt in here when clearly I have zero experience in this regard.

I have never had an amnio and my first batch of tests came back with minuscule risks, so this is not something have had to really think long and hard about.

However as anyone who has been pregnant we all sit and think "what if."

My first pregnancy was one where I was in a high stress situation, as I had experienced a batch of procedures that a pregnant person should not have undergone, and taken medication a pregnant person should not have undergone and and .... so each scan for us was terrifying as we were sure we were going to see things on the scan that we really did not want to see.

However I used Kingsbury Fetal Assessment Centre and used Dr. Shannon Morris there who continues to amaze me with her experience, and her ability to assess a situation and offer insight and advise/guidance.

When I went in for my scan with my 3rd child (she had been the same doctor for baby 1 and 2) - I was a bit terrified as I was over 35, and 35 had been my mental cut off age - as I felt that on your 35th birthday it was all pretty much downhill from there on in.

Any the who, before she did the blood work and the initial scan we spoke about the "what ifs" and the "maybe's" which are important. She spoke about the risks of an amnio or a CVC and also using the right person to do it, if we chose this as a course of action.

The point I am trying to make - is that even though the risks are small for a M/C - this is one of those procedures, where you grill - literally grill - your doctor as to how many procedures they do a day, and their stats, and then select the best possible person for the task, rather than who ever is available.

My feeling is that if I was faced with an amnio or a CVC I would ensure I was getting a specialist who had degrees up to the ying-yang, and not just someone who did it 2 or 3 times a month.

We can do another thread about men, and the sh*t they bring! Let's save that for another day.

Ag Solo, don't worry, it's not dirty laundry! Lots of us have "unusual" circumstances surrounding our pregnancies! Life doesn't follow a manual of how things are supposed to be.

And talking about difficult things do help - it's a woman thing.