Advice re amniocentesis

Hehe Solo, your story sounds a lot like mine - I also told my BF I was totally safe when he asked - thinking that after 2 yrs after unsuccessful fertility treatments I was never going to be able to have children.

Deciding on whether to terminate an abnormal baby is a very difficult and personal decision, but I would definitely say that it would be best if you're going to be a single mom. The added stress and workload of such a baby would be near to impossible to handle if you're single and have to work, etc..

My mom worked with Downs syndrome patients at Camphill Village for years and I saw them often. They just do not have the opportunities and full life that normal kids have.

The difficulty also comes in when you raise the child yourself and then one day when you pass on they have to go to a centre like that and suddenly they have to get used to being treated so differently - being just one of many such patients. This is also something which is obviously more important when you think that you and I are already older when having the baby.

Oh no Solo!!! Your BF sounds absolutely horribly insensitive!! How can he just assume that you will get a termination?! It really seems like he doesn't want this baby at all! Would you consider having the baby alone, i.e. if he doesn't want to be a part of it all?

If I were you, I would feel that falling pregnant now, after being unable to fall pregnant for such a long time, is a true miracle, so I would say go for it if you are at all able to.

When I fell pregnant my boyfriend and I were only together for a bit more than a month and since he is almost 6 years younger than me I wasn't at all sure how he felt about having a child now. So when I was going to break the news to him I prepared myself to tell him that if he wasn't interested that I would raise the child alone and he could sign a contract saying he will have no rights to see the child but also have no responsibilities.

Lucky for me he was over the moon with happiness and we eventually got married and he's been super involved and supportive.

Thanks Schatsie, my gynae didn't tell me about the Fish test - only about the one that takes two to three weeks for the results. I'm going to insist on the Fish test. I'm stressed enough already.

My gynae just said he would do a scan this Thursday to check the lie of the placenta and then decide whether he was going to perform the procedure or refer me to someone else.

I'm also petrified because I won't have anyone's hand to hold for support. BF hasn't offered to take time off work and I doubt he would even try to take time off work for just a little "test" When I told him last night that I have to have an amnio next week, he said he was very sorry that I have to go through it and he will fetch me after he has finished work, oh and to ask the Dr to put me on the pill afterwards because he is too scared to go for a "snip, snip" and we need to prevent this from happening again. Then it dawned on me. He thought I was having a termination next week. I am appalled at the lack of support and compassion.

Solo my gynae sent me to a sonographer for the special scans and the amnio.

Do yourself a favour and get the Fish test done. It was a lot cheaper than the full test and we had our results in 3 days, which made the wait for the outcome of the full results so much more bearable. Once we knew that the baby didn't have Downs, waiting for the rest of the results wasn't so bad.

Good luck again!