Pregnancy after D&C

Hey Cath!

Mandy
First of all I'm really glad you joined this forum. Although my MC was quite a long time ago, reading your story brought immediate tears to my eyes and shows me that 3 years down the line the emotions are still pretty raw!

Let me say that what you're feeling is 100% normal and dont let anyone tell you otherwise! You need to mourn this loss as if it was a baby you held in your arms.
Because we mourn the 'what would've beens', 'would it have been a boy or a girl', and all the memories that came with that.
Truth is from the moment you find out you're pregnant you start loving your new baby, no matter how small or how far away the actual birth is. And with us woman we are obsessive in the sense that it takes over our thought process entirely and so 2 or 4 or 6 weeks down the line we really have to mourn our loss seriously.

A few girls on here have had blighted ovums, and I'm sure they will respond. I can think of ChanM for one - and I think she is a mommy with you on ur other forum?

Regarding trying again - this is mostly personal and everyone differs in their choice.
A few conceive within 2 weeks of their D&C while most gynae's will encourage you to wait until your first period for the sake of better dating your pregnancy if you do conceive straight away.
And then others will say to wait 3 months for emotional healing.
So you can see this seems largely to be an opinion based issue.
I would say definitely give yourself a few weeks to get over the initial mourning process. It will probably take longer than that to entirely deal with although it will be less frequent.

I had a missed MC so similarly my body continued to produce the hormones to make it think I was still pg and so at 9w I started cramping and spotting and the scan revealed that baby had died just past 7 weeks - only a few days after my first scan.
With Kaylee's heart health, its now easier for me to accept that perhaps the 1st baby had much more severe defects that it couldn't have survived, but that's for me to say not anybody else!
It took 5 weeks for my period to return after the D&C. I think once the hormones are out of your system it takes about 2 weeks till ur period arrives. People say the first one can be heavier cos there may be excess tissue being expelled. I found my first one was very light, but the 2nd one was much heavier.

It took about 4 months to conceive again but i must be honest I put a lot of pressure on us for it to happen and so it wasnt as enjoyable as the first try which was a pity. So try your best not to become obsessed about it if thats the only advice you take from my long essay!

And as you said yourself, you only realise how common it is once you've been through it yourself as then it becomes real. People who have not been through it can only try and relate, I guess the same as trying to relate to someone with fertility issues when you already have children.

Please feel free to message me anytime you need xxx

Mandz

Hun I'm so terribly sorry for your loss you have come to the right place, please cry, vent whateva u feel like, we all understand the emotions you are going through, these are a really great bunch of ladies that have been there for me in good and bad tyms, may you find the support you need and know you have a special angel watching over you now in heaven.

Hi Mandz

Agh, I'm really sorry to hear about your experience. I guess that's why they call it 'expecting' = the minute we hear the news we are in a state of expectation and then a blighted ovum comes along and suddenly it's gone.

I had almost exactly the same experience (from the outside) as you. I went for I think 6 or 8 week scan was sent from pillar to post (I knew something was wrong) and finally doc admitted it was a blighted ovum.

What helped me was that although there was conception there was not a zygote/foetus and that helped me not to think of it as our 'baby' and to be honest I was relieved to get some closure and start trying again. I think I did cry once but ja for me it was just like so be it, hope I'm luckier next time and I was. Our little boy is 13 months now and is an absolute delight. I see the blighted ovum I had as part of the process.

I have also been told that a d&c is really good for cleaning out your womb and that it can aid conception. I'm sorry you feel so kak now, it will pass, and try remember you can choose how you feel about things - if you want to.

Cathmx

Hello Moomies 

I typed a long message last night and what do you know…I lost it! So I will try again.

I see this is a thriving thread and I just know I’ll find the help I need here. I was 8 weeks pregnant and on Wednesday last week was my first appt with Gynae. When the screen went on, there was……silence. And then…..some more…silence. In the meantime my heart hit the ground. There was nothing. A sac, a pregnant me and no baby- A Blighted Ovum. By the time I got off the bed I realized it was over before it even started and was beside myself. DH and I were gutted. As the story goes, went for surgery on Thursday and now life has to go on. Does it? When will I stop crying? Will it get easier?

I now realise until you have been through it you can never really understand what its really like. And I also realise the dumb things I have said before out of cluelessness. That phrase…. “maybe it just wasn’t meant to be” or “everything happens for a reason” or “ there was probably serious abnormalities so your body rid rejected the embryo” blah blah blah. These conclusions are at the hurtful stage when I hear them. I think what people don’t realise is that we spent 3 weeks talking about the new baby and for me it feels like I have lost a child. I will always wonder what it would have been like if this hadn’t happened.

I know a lot of you have been through this, some of you have had to deal with mc much later which must have been awful. I see a lot have also mc around my time too. Please offer me advice  Anyone else experience what I did?

For me, even when they gave the dilation meds, I actually felt like I was about to abort the pregnancy. It’s like I knew it was way too early for the pregnancy to be over. So when the bleeding started I just broke down. When I woke from anesthetic I was crying-before I could even see straight. The sister said to me I must stop crying because everyone will see on the way back to the ward :-l So this didn’t help and she asked why I am crying is it because I am mourning?! Anyway I composed myself. Felt to silly afterwards. (She didn’t mean it in a nasty way I think it is maybe a culture thing).

Anyway I had my post op check up and all was ok, the results aren’t back yet but gynae said he didn’t suspect anything out the ordinary. He put me back on Glucophage but now 3 times a day because I had really high insulin levels in Jan (31). I am hoping to fall pregnant again so quickly but should I give my body time to heal or what would you suggest. Gynae just said now we just wait for a period- I guess then a new cycle begins. He never said I needed to wait.

I am reading back on the forum and will try get with the program, I do already know a few of you.

TIA  Joybaby-I know you will respond 

I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart listening to me going on about my mil. Thanks for you support.

After yesterdays mail dh phoned her and told her in a nice way not to interfere in our finances and we will do as we see fit. And our lo comes first and then we will decide about the wedding.

App she said she will bought the baby bath of R410 for us, but ja i dont get excited im still waiting for my wedding gift!!

Mom2b lovely pic counting with you the days my scan just to days after yours, glad there is some news on a name

Hi to every one else let me get back to work now!!

Klk

Im over the moon for you!!! i'll bet we here more from you know and some pics!! I wish you all the best and a very healthy pg!!
Now the waiting game starts!! feel like when we were children and counting of the sleepies to christmas or birthdays.

Take care my friend and keep us posted!! Just a week before christmas what a present, well deserved.

Big hugs to you!!

Hell dont say that J!!

My due date is the 16th December