Betrayal of trust

@ Tinti. So sorry dear. That is shocking & terrifying!!!

I have heard similar stories before so this has been one of my biggest fears. I made sure that my nanny didn't have a small baby and therefore no possibility of her having milk in her boobies. Also had this talk with my nanny to tell her to never even consider it!!! She seemed just as shocked that this was happening...I hope she was being sincere...

I can imagine how terrified you must be! I would have trouble trusting anyone with my kids ever again...but it's the dilemma of being a working mom, at some point, we HAVE to hand over our kids to someone elses care. Just do thorough research. good luck. (((((HUGS)))))

Tinti - this is seriously the most bizarre and one of the most horrific "betrayals" that I have ever heard of.

Take some time to just sit with it, before you blindly panic and rush around making decisions in a very emotional space.

I also do not suggest you paint everyone with the same brush after this horrific incident, but I do get how you feel that your trust has been broken in the most horrific manner possible and you also are reeling from what your child has been exposed to.

Speak to someone helpful rather than rant at people who will further upset you - Julz made a great suggestion regarding LifeLife - have a cry, have a scream and chat to someone.

Make a decision about how to go further when you are calmer and a bit more over the shock.

I am still going WHAT THE FUCK!!

I might need to say that a few more times today.

flowergirl wrote:

Tinti - horrible, horrible. I really feel for you - that is a terrible thing to experience.

Unfortunately, when we have to work - the only thing we can do is use our instincts and trust that we are leaving our children in the best possible care. Unfortunately, we sometimes get this wrong and it can happen to anyone. Glad that you have let the nanny go.

RM - yip, unfortunately it is more common than you think. When a woman is still lactating and looking after someone else's child, for bizarre reasons they feel it is ok to breastfeed other people's babies for the following reasons:

1. Baby is screaming and they try anything to get her to be quiet, so if the breast works, then great (in their minds)

2. Still breastfeeding their own babies and don't want their milk to dry up, so instead of expressing - either because they don't have a breast pump or just simply because its much easier, they just breastfeed the baby they are looking after.

Its awful - but I have heard of it happening before and this was always one of my biggest fears actually!!

but Flowergirl her youngest child is 5years old so she definately was not BF her child anymore. i dont know what she was trying to do. i still have to take LG for testing after 2months cos de test was negative for now, so its still the window period.

OH MY WORD! I can just imagine what must be going through your mind right now... I can't actually think of what I would do in this situation (I do know I wouldn't act as rationally and calm as you did - good on you!) How do you trust someone after this? I mean for us mothers trusting someone else with our most precious gifts are already hard (even trusting our own mothers & m-in law sometimes!)

I second RM on this one - take preventative measures anyway - even if it doesn't look like your lg contracted anything. TB could be another thing to lookout for?

Wow...I am still at a loss of words
Hang in there girl

OH MY HAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

My plea would have been 'temporary insanity' in the murder trial!

Reading your story I am so angry for your sake. No one should ever be betrayed like that.

I am really so sorry you and your baby have to go through something like this.

julzdylan wrote:

Oh my goodness. That is shocking.

Fristly you handled the situation perfectly. You got her tested and you sent her packing.

I have no idea how prevalent this is to be honest. Did she say why she was doing it???

If you are seriously upset by this which it sounds like you are, may I suggest that you contact lifeline and they will provide you with a free trauma councellor. The earlier you chat to someone the better off you will be.

i didnt wait or ask her aby questions because i was not interested in her answers, she was with me for almost a year and very efficient so i would not have thought that of her at all. i dont know how long she breast fed her since she was with me before LG was born. i feel have been feeling very emotional lately, i just burst crying out of nowhere. the DR. told me it was her first case, she never heard of nannies who do that. i do think i need counselling and i was thinking of taking my LG to MIL to raise her but i also want to be part of my child's growth. i dont know what to do really.

Tinti - horrible, horrible. I really feel for you - that is a terrible thing to experience.

Unfortunately, when we have to work - the only thing we can do is use our instincts and trust that we are leaving our children in the best possible care. Unfortunately, we sometimes get this wrong and it can happen to anyone. Glad that you have let the nanny go.

RM - yip, unfortunately it is more common than you think. When a woman is still lactating and looking after someone else's child, for bizarre reasons they feel it is ok to breastfeed other people's babies for the following reasons:

1. Baby is screaming and they try anything to get her to be quiet, so if the breast works, then great (in their minds)

2. Still breastfeeding their own babies and don't want their milk to dry up, so instead of expressing - either because they don't have a breast pump or just simply because its much easier, they just breastfeed the baby they are looking after.

Its awful - but I have heard of it happening before and this was always one of my biggest fears actually!!