Stay at home mom

sometimes it is a personal choice but I just do not feel comfortable with drawing lines and saying good mothers do this and bad mothers do that because really our circumstances are different so we will approach things from different angles.

Thanks Marijke that really made me feel better. I will end it there for today about this issue.

And you're right Marijke I don't want to be parted from my kids when I am home cos I miss them so much while I'm working.

Hehehehe - I was for cosleeping and I hope my comments didn't make you feel bad - that wasn't my intention at all.

CIP - I don't think Claudia was judging working moms (I'm a WM). I think she was just giving further positive justification for being a SAHM. In today's world some moms have to work to be able to give our kids those extra's and it is nothing to feel bad about it! Easier said than done

My kids are probably going to be more confident and well rounded than if I was SAHM as they are getting such great attention and skills from their grannies and one on one attention as they grannies don't worry about having to clean the house, iron etc as that is my problem or they just do it when the kids are gone. Jade is the youngest kid in her school and is one of the most well adjusted and independent in her class. The SAHM's kids are quite clingy and whiney I've noticed Just an observation.

Hi CiP

drphil.com/articles/article/284

Arguments can be made from both camps until the cows come home. Even if it wasn't your first choice to go to work, it is what it is and you're making the best of it.

Good mothers come in all sorts of packages, i.e. SAHM and working moms.

CIP that is exactly how I felt on a different topic. Not too long ago there was a thread about co-sleeping and how it's best for baby and I commented that it made me feel like I am being bad by making the decision not to let my baby share a bed or room with us.

I think we do what we can. It's also been proved that working moms spend 80% of the free time (quality time) they have with their children which is more than SAHM, so perhaps that might make you feel better

Claudia_B wrote:

As a mom you are showing a dedication to ensuring your children get the bet possible start in life (studies show that children with moms at home are more confident as adults).

I feel a bit judged as a working mother by this statement allow me to explain why:

In life there is no black and white unfortunately there are shades of Grey somewhere in between. some women like myself have no choice but to work to make sure that our kids get best possible start in life. I am working but not by choice but because I want my kids to have a better life. Am I robbing them: that is a discussion for another day but my daughter is a confident young girl, I have not seen anything as yet to suggest that she is lacking somewhere because her mother is a working mother.

Being a SAHM is a privilege that some of us do not have so please let us not be made to feel bad because we work.

Hi EveStyles

All the best for the big event - min slapies nê:O)

If you have a supportive hubby, great stuff. Hubby was the domestic at home, as he didn't want me doing anything in the house ('you've got a baby to see to, how can you possibly think of doing anything else') - so that was cool:O) It definitely helped that our daughter slept through from day three, and even though she HATED sleeping during the day, she was fine doing whatever babies do when I took a nap.

Also finances - you should be paid a salary, as usual, and not have to 'ask' for money for whatever.

Even if you have all of these things in place, and you think that you'd be a better mom working after your maternity leave, then discuss it with hubby and make the best decision for yourself and your baby. It seems as if you have already decided but just have a few jitters about being a SAHM - so good luck with your decision, and nothing is cast in stone - if it doesn't end up 'working' for you, then do what's best for you.

Good luck!!