Stay at home mom

I think everybody shld b respectfull of each others lifestyles
I get a lot of ugly comments, not on this forum, generally, bout me having full time help, how Im spoilt & am not really raising my kid.
Fact is, if hubby didnt want a child, I wouldnt have had one & I refuse to b made to feel guilty bout that. Fact is, Iv never been maternal. but I love my baby nonetheless. Im not domesticated in ANY way, therefore I enjoy having my cook & cleaner.
I dont want being a mother dictate my life, define who I am, give me a completely new identity. I love being Zodwa, doing Zodwarish things like going to the spa, exercising when I want, I enjoy my freedoms therefore if having somebody to look after baby while I get on with things that also contribute to my happiness & sanity so b it.
EveStyles, u did say that u dnt see the point of being a SAHM & having full time help after I posted. It makes sense for me, it keeps me sane. My baby still wakes up every two hours for a feed & it feels like heaven handing him over to the nanny in the morn so I can get some sleep.
The 1st three months are tough, I used to feed baby while I was half sleep, would sleep b4 he does cos Im dog tired & wouldnt know when he slept & I would feel so guilty coz I would realise Im still holding him, what if he suffocated coz I was too tired to check which position he's sleeping in?

All in all diff things work for diff ppl & we have diff lifestyles.

Eve not at all. It's a great debate. xx

I hope nobody is taking this post too seriously. I feel kinda bad that it's getting under people's skin.

If you read my initial post, my question was "what is it really like to be a sahm?", NOT, "is it better to be sahm or go to work?"

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Love Eve

On this topic - I wonder if anyone saw the doctor phil episode where there was this very opinionated SAHM, she even pissed me off - If I can somehow just remember what she said I'm sure we'll have a great debate on our hands.

Thing is, I'm also not the type of SAHM I would have liked to be and regularly wonder if I wouldn't be a better mother if I worked. But I choose this, so I will see it through. I have worked, but you get paid to eat up a lot of crap and money wasn't worth that kind of stress for me since we didn't need the money or the extra stress.

I can honestly say that I am not a baby mommy. I can't wait for B to be older so we can do arts and crafts, play dolls and run around outside.

I have the greatest respect for mothers who have to work just to survive every month.

EveStyles - don't discount the guilt factor and the internal stuggle that many SAHM need to face.

There is this thing that when you have a baby that you will just want to stay at home and be with your baby because that is the best thing in the world. And everyone tells you it is, so it must be. Right?

But then the baby arrives, you are at home, and just so deeply unhappy. And the guilt starts to mount. As you think to yourself, why is this baby not enough for me, why can't I be happy just being with him/her.

Why do I want to run away and keep running?

The reality is that some of us are just not wired to be at home - I really really really wanted to want to be a stay at home mom. But realised that I am just wired differently.

I am happier/saner/more in control/a better mother/a more affectionate mother at work, than I am when I stay at home.

I realise that this offends many of the good senses of moms who give it all up to be at home, but if I stayed at home I would be taking four Zoloft a day, and seeing my psyciatrist for three one-hour visits a week.

julzdylan - I had to laugh at your 'didn't shed a tear comment'.

My friend and her hubby worked from home at the time their daughter was born. She sent her daughter to creche at 11 months. She was ECSTATIC to send her daughter:O) She told me that the creche called to say that her daughter is fine - she said it didn't even occur to her to call to find out if she was okay. I had a good laugh at that, because she said it sounded like the teacher was quite shocked that she wasn't going through 3 boxes of tissues drying her eyes and nose. She also says that she'd never be able to be a SAHM, unless her daughter was at school for a few hours, and she had busloads of money:O) So yep, different strokes ...