Bullied at school - now insecure

I totally agree with you about my son needing to stand up for himself - Last night I told him to punch the little shit on the shnoz if he ever hurts him in any way again.
I told him let’s call him X is only hurting you because he is jealous of you and is a coward. I told him if he bullies you today, you put your hand up infront of his face and tell him you are not interested in his nonsense, if he continues pop him one on the nose!

I know this is not right but the little bugger needs to be taught a lesson and obviously his parents don’t give a damn, so I feel it is my obligation to teach him!

RM, that is so cool that your son stood up for himself and told the boys’ father – well done, now you just have to help him get over the crucifixion!

Tiagosmom, yes the teacher and the phase manager have spoken to this child.

We are thinking about changing schools but why must my child suffer because of this boy? He should be asked to leave as I beleiev my son is not the only one who is being bullied at school by him!

Holy cow JoJo. I would freak out. What useless parents this brat has though not to even bother to reply to your request for a meeting. Almost make you feel sorry for this kid that his parents care so little. Have the teachers/principal spoken to this boy? Gee I would definitely do something about this, your son shouldnt have to go to school afraid everyday.

I have no qualm about getting the child's name and phoning the child's parents myself to resolve an issue.

A week before school holidays my son got into the car and he was upset as "a boy" kept pulling his hair.

My son has longer hair and most boys at his school have a brush cut hair style.

I saw the other boy get into his dad's car.

I asked Connor does he want me to go over talk to the boy.

Connor said yes - and I was just about to go.

Then I stopped and said "is the boys father not inside signing the boy out?"

Connor said "yes" - so I told him to go and tell the boy's father.

Which he did.

The boy's father told Connor that if his son ever pulled his hair again he has permission to give his son a "snot klap" (those were his actual words.)

Connor came back all smiles.

He felt good he confronted the dad, and I was so very proud of him.

And I think it was more effective than me going to tell the kid to stop yanking his hair.

<I do not agree with bullying, and my kid's school has a "bully workshop" each year to talk about the issue with parents/teachers and the school kids>

Great thread.

At the end of the day a bully is a coward, and hates to called at his/her own game.

The catch-22 is a sensitive child can feel victimised = a sensitive parent plays in to this = said child continues to feel victimised and solves the problem by getting upset = child cries easily at school = easy target for bullies.

I really am over-simplifying the issue, but I am trying to make a point.

I do suggest talking to the school.
I think an outside approach is also good.

My son - 9 is really sensitive.
He is still upset that Jesus was crucified (I am not attempting to be funny, he gets seriously upset over Easter).

I can keep him home each time he feels that he is being picked on, or I can arm him with the skills to stand up to the thug in question.

Only in one case did I go up to the thug - who probably weighs the same as me - and told him in no uncertain terms if he comes near my child again I will personally come over and smack him against the side of the head -- in front of everyone.

<the mother of said child did send me an sms to apologise for her child's behaviour>

Bullying is terrible, and it really annoys me.

But ...... part of the lesson in life is to teach our kids how bullies operate and that kids must stand up for themselfs.

And it is often traumatic to watch as you really just want to go and smack the other child.

Jojo, this is terrible! I would go beserk! Propably why my kids aren't in school yet. But I suppose thats something I still have to face.

The parents of the bully has to take responsibility for this and your child needs to see that something is happening or else he will lose confidence in you and in the teachers. I would make a plan to confront the parents, good luck with phoning them, maybe try to make an appointment to see them in person.

If the parents don't take it seriously, I would change schools. But I think its important to try and sort out the situation so that your child can learn that you don't run away from a problem but do something about it.

If I can add my two cents, I read somewhere that a psychiatrist recommend that when a child is being bullied that they learn to sort it out themselves as it teaches them to adapt and stand up for themselves, part of the learning process of becoming an adult. Obviously when the situation is very serious, then the parents should get involved.

In my experience, I had a teacher that bullied me, he used to victimise me in front of the class and I ended up hating maths and having nightmares about him, I didn't know it at the time, but my parents went to the principal and complained about this teacher, boy did he make my life hell after that, he singled me out more and made reference to the fact that "certain babies in the class have nightmares and then run to mommy about me"