The fine print on the Mommy contract

You guys are so awesome!!
Although I agree with everything (twice) I esp agree with RM's: because they dont wanna know!! I defs didn't, I got very annoyed with the 'just wait' folk, I mean: Ive done enough research to start a baby farm! I have access to so much more info AND I've studied so I got this waxed! Incl the birth, infact especially the birth!

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Brilliant thread.

Tea reluctant mom??? A glass of wine you mean.

I clearly remember my own words . How flipping hard can it be??? I remember going home with Neil after having dinner with friends who had raised kids and saying that our kids would be different etc etc etc.

Now I am a mom who secretly chuckles to herself when moms talk about how they will sleep when the baby sleeps etc etc etc.

I recon it is payback and then some!!

And why didn't they tell me??? They did!!! I just didn't listen.

Okay so my shock horrors have been:

The pregnancy pains. My back caved in at 27 weeks and I was miserable!

Planning the birth only to discover that your baby has other ideas.

Your baby not sleeping according to babysense book! How could he not sleep according to the manual?

The vomiting. Constant vomiting.

He hates the expensive sling you bought! Actually he hates everything you bought with him in mind.

The never ending worry about another being who can't tell you where he is hurting or what is upsetting him. I am an older selfish mom only used to looking after myself.

Working from home with a baby. Forget it!!!!!!!!

The costs. Take your budget and double it or what the hell tripple it.

The trips to the doc. Take my advice and get a good looking paed. At least when you fork out the R500 each month (for a runny nose) you will at least have felt like it was worth it.

You waking for the 4th time in 4 hours while your husband sleeps peacefully through.

Your husband expecting sex when you have had 4 months of waking up every hour.

The above is what I can remember from the first year which is only a fraction of events due to complete brain damage which is the other thing to look forward to. Luckily we get it or we would never consider having a second or a third.

BUT BUT BUT, When your son has given you a whole night of sleep without throwing up and presses his little mouth to your ear and says good morning mommy your heart will melt and it will all be worth it.

Until the next bad night that is.

(I know that some moms do have a wonderful time. These moms have more brain damage than us.)

RM - i am ROLLING on the floor laughing becuase that is the truest most genuine way of saying it ) I used to be one of those "oh its easy, everything is sorted blah blah blah". Now im crying, fighting, emotions all over the place saying "why didnt you tell me"! I asked a friend who had her baby 2 years ago if it really was that easy for her and she said yes - my first thought was "LIAR!" be honest )

Listen I am a total b&tch - I actually laugh inside when a mommy-to-be is all confident and "I have got this taped" - it really fills me with joy, as I wait, I wait for the time bomb to come down.

At some point she is going to have that moment when reality hits, and sadly it is a bit like when someone walking on the street trips.

Initally you gasp and go, goodness hope you are okay! And then you start to laugh a little - not in thier faces, but sort of in your sleeve.

Well I do at any rate!

I have moms in my bookclub who have not been to bookclub for 6 months because "they have a baby." They do not do anything after 7pm socially because "they have a baby" - when we do see them it is for two hours because they have to leave "because they have a baby!"

I try not to roll my eyes, and say "yes and so do the rest of us, now please pass the wine" but any the way.

Agreed Newyum mum no one tells you, but part of it is because no one believes you!!

Reluctant mom, i must admit this sounds better. Where have you been all my life.
By the way I take loads of sugar....might need it after I get the load down from you.

To tell you the honest truth i am scared and horrified. Nothing can prepare your body, mind or patience for whats to come.
But something i hear often is: It is all worth it!!!!

All the small print just in the pregnancy section of my journey already makes you think. What else is lurking around the next corner...........
So how many more surprises awaits this soul. Is this pay back for all the crap i gave my mom in my 32 years of existance.....then maybe i should have a lot of drugs during the birth just to make sure.

Love it RM!

I can remember with Cate... the pregnancy was a breeze, her birth was a breeze, got home on Sunday afternoon, cooked supper, fed Cate, put her down to sleep, watched the Sunday Movie and took myself off to bed at about 9.30pm expecting a good 6 to 8 hours of sleep... was I in for a rude awakening!!!! Two weeks later with a sum total of about 2 hours sleep to my name, Cate's father phoned my mother and asked her to come and fetch me and Cate before he had me committed to the local loony bin. And of course, we get to my mom's house and my child promptly sleeps for 5 hours and I look like a total idiot!!!

For me personally, being a mother is the hardest most challenging self-sacrificing thing I've ever done in my whole entire life and I wouldn't give it for all the money in the world!! I don't know what I did with my life before my child came along, I feel like I didn't exist before her.

My advice? Don't kid yourself that its easy, because it's not. But its the most rewarding thing you'll ever do. Embrace it, Enjoy it and you'll come out on the other side in almost one piece.

Oh Newyum mum - pull up a chair, get comfy, would you like a cup of tea? Do you take milk, sugar? How much time do you have? Oh let's chat.

I came to this epiphany a few years ago as well.

I have a friend who is pregnant now - and part of it is that she does not want to know. The other part is I do not want to scare the bejesus out of her.

And at the same time she does not believe me - she thinks I make this stuff up for shits and giggles!

I watched my pregnant friends go through the euphoria, and when the older-friends-with-kids try to give them a glimpse of reality, we can see the way they look at us like "you girls have got it so wrong, this mommy stuff is fine, millions of women do it, and I will. My husband is so supportive. Work will be fine. I have found a great creched. I will be fine. You guys are totally over doing what this is like."

Then about two - three months after baby has arrived, they finally make it out for a social setting. They are flustered, have not been out of thier jammies since giving birth.

They are fighting with thier husbands. Love thier babies, but hate them from 11pm through to 4am.

But the entire time putting up a brave face.

Then you lean over and say in a whisper "how's the crying in the bathroom alone at 2am working for you?"