TTC journey, travelling...

Hi Meags.

Sorry only got your thread today.

OK here is my 2 cents:

You and Dh might change your mind once the baba arrives. It is hard to understand and know how you will react as a parent before you have the baba. You will think you will be a mom that will never do this or that and do stuff in a certain way, but then whne the baba arrives ALL will change. Even without you feeling the change.

I have two friends who's husbands travel a lot. My one dear friend, Shophie. I met her when they moved from France with a 2 month old baby. She had no support on this side, no family and they both worked full time. She then had a baby boy here in South Africa, when he was 3 months, they moved to the UK and they are moving know with two toddlers back to France. They travelled every 6 months back and forth to France with easy and no problem

I love traveling with my son. I love holidays as a family. And I miss him to much when I go away with out him. We did a UK trip with a 2 year old, IT WAS AMAZING! We took him to see everything. We were up sooo early in the morning to it was a welcoming time to go to bed at 9!

I do think haveing a Nanny for date nights are fun, I barely use my baby sitter. Think I do it once every 6 months! BAD! But not to raise your child. I have a friend and I always feel the nanny is raising the kids

We go every year to Sun City. The rest of my family, when they go they take a Nanny with so that they can go out at night.I once said to DH that maybe we should take a nanny along so that I can sleep in and we go out one night. He said no and it made sence. He said we work and this is family time, we spend this time with our son. Also what happens if you and DH want to spend some romantic time kissing in the room, then it is you, Dh and a nanny. You can't just pack her away

While TTC, you can go on as normal. I know I had to and I am glad I did, as trying for number two is taking sooooooooooo Long!And with me losing my mind and self in this TTC journey it helps to be able to have a glass of wine to just cry or have a romantic weekend away.

You will be a great mom.
You wanted it for years.
You looked after those, was it twins or triplets, you were angry that the mom did not take care of them.
You are a great person, and will make the right choice.
You don't even want to leave your cat alone, just think if they were your little one?

What I love about reading you post is: You over think and over worry. I am the same. It is good as you prepare your self in advance for things that might happen, and you make sure you and DH are on the same boat. But I promise you, thing change that you don't have control over. DH and I come from very different family's, so I thought man here comes trouble, as we can't agree on most things. But When my son arrived it all just gelled. We still have fall outs about what each one think is the correct way of raising a kid, but it is the two extremes that work. As it ends up being quite a balanced raising jouney.

Ok I am babbeling on, sorry. Just don't worry to much.
You will know what decision to make, we can give you advice, but at the end you will know if you are ready for a baba and you will know how you and DH will raside the baba. It all depends on what works for you and what works for your ''family'' set up so that you and DH can keep an LOVING realationship to raise your child.

I would never be able to leave my baby with anybody for such a long time. Amy is 3 years old and has only been away from me for one night at the most.

meags i have a friend who has a fulltime au pair and when they go travelling the au pair goes with. it works 4 her but i would never do that. i made my son and will never hand him over 2 any1

Meags, I didn't think you would think that it would be ok, I was waiting for your post in baited breath.

Agh honey, I feel for you cos I know you want a baby so badly and the situation as it stands now isnt ideal if things like this aren't sorted.

if you are prego's, just maybe things will change, they will especially change if you make it change (or try as much as possible) but you dont want to create new problems in your marriage.

hehe ok 2 replies is enough for me, if I dont vent, I might just pass out from holding my breath.

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU BOTH!!!

What the hell? Leave YOUR BABY with some random lady????????? I do not think so!
A family member is different, and even then, not when baby is still small.
I remember my parents taking a holiday when we were about 10 years old!!! and even then, our older cousin came and looked after us.

What the hell is wrong with these french people?? When we got married, DH's sister's baby was only 5 months old. They decided not to bring her as we were going to Kruger and they were worried about malaria. So they left her with her nanny!!!!!!!!! I still cannot get my head around this.
I am sorry, but I think even having a weekend away from your child must be difficult. I am sure you enjoy it and all, but you must miss them terribly and it must be difficult to totally relax as you are completely out of control of the situation with your baby.
As you say Chris, What if something happens to the baby????? I would never forgive myself.

I told DH this is clearly an issue and I'd rather not have a baby now then because I just will never see eye to eye with him on this one. He was quite upset and says I'm being silly. But honestly? He hasnt got a hope in hell unless he changes his mindset and I am so scared it's too late and I'm already pregnant!

Meags, I have to agree with Julz, I wouldn't do it at all, if it was a weekend then would be fine, but I would never be able to do this.

I'll put it from my Dh's side, I asked him his opinion, with some other things he mentioned that like us who battled to have children,it wouldn't even be a thought that would cross our minds because we wanted this family so bad that we are prepared to be full time parents, even with triplets as tiring as it would be.

I really think you and DH need to discuss your plans about travellign and get it out the way.

I watched a movie the other day and the mother of 2 kids kept going Hawaai on holiday cos she had found a new boyrfiend, it was a 6hr flight for her. She got a call that her daughter was in a car accident, the mother couldn't get a flight as soon as possible and landed up at hospital only after her daughter had an op and all and the child kept asking for her mom. You dont want to be put in that situation, his could happen any time anywhere even while you at the shops and baby is with family member, but you are close by.

Meags, Im curios to see yoru reply cos you are burstign with it I can almost hear it

I'm going to wait for the others to reply to this before I say what I want to say!! But I am bursting to tell you ladies my thoughts!