TTC journey, travelling...

but i do feel sorry for you having to wait a bit longer for your dream! LOL

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Haha Vix, no hard feelings at all! I was looking for sympathy but glad I got opinions because it's nice to see all the different views

Meags- i had wondered if maybe my comments had offended you because you suddenly went quiet.

it's a difficuly position to be in giving advice because i can hear in what you say that you're looking for people to agree with you and support your feelings but i am a realist and see most things from both sides. I usually try to give my opinion as i see it and not necicerily as the person would like to hear it.

But look, you went away thought about it and had a good weekend with DH.

I'm sorry if i upset you but i just want to help you see both sides of the coin.

good luck with your life's journey.

hi ladies!

well, I must say, i was quite offended by your responses when I first read them as I wanted to be supported in some way! And that's why I didnt reply at first.

Having a few days to think about it and see how I act towards DH, YOU LADIES ARE RIGHT

Thanks for your honesty and opinions. Surprisingly, I wasn't off towards DH at all. I expected to be sad, and angry with him and not talk to him. But instead, we had a great weekend, drank a LOT and had fun. Seems I was not as emotionally involved in this as I thought I was.

I am ok to wait until early next year. As broody as I am, I agree that DH needs to be ready too because I want us both to want it and not just me.

And as Firefly says, it's not a major thing to wait 5-8 more months really!

So for now, I still have no period and DH keeps joking I am pregnant.
I don't think I am so will see the gynae in 3 weks if still no AF.

Thanks for all your replies ladies!

Lol Meags!!

Sweetheart, you need to stress a little less. I'm also the over-analysing type so I know how you feel. I also know how difficult this decision is to make since dh and I (or well, mostly I) decided to put ttc on hold until we get to the States next year too.

I can't give you advice from the perspective of someone who has already had kids, but I think you've got some great advice from the other ladies already. What I would suggest is to try to think a little less emotionally about this. If you logically list the pros and cons of getting pregnant now, or in Jan, what would the outcome be?

I can think of a few things...On the one hand, you're still uncertain about where you'll be moving to. DH is still unsure about ttc. If you move without a lo it means that you can travel easily as a couple. It also means that when dh is working, you can move around Miami easily by yourself without having to think about a pram/lo. You would be able to further your career by maybe doing work as a doula/midwife or get further qualifications. You could take up hobbies, do yoga on the beach...and probably make friends quite easily in that way. With a lo, you probably would be more restricted and if you wanted to explore the city you'd probably need the help of a nanny.

On the other hand, if you end up moving to a quiet little village/country somewhere, you might want to have a lo to keep you occupied.

I know how your dh feels because in my relationship I was the one who held back from ttc. It took me a few months to get used to the idea once we started bouncing it around, and I would say that your dh also needs that time. Also, lol, you need to stop pressuring him...I know you want certainty but you did say that you bring up the topic every day and even email him about it...so perhaps you need to give him some time to mull it over by himself.

And don't rush. I think that if you ask around here, most ladies will tell you that the time that they had their lo's ended up being exactly the right time in their lives. And I believe that will happen for you too.

Meags you whould have been annoyed with him for not saying that you can ttc so it seems that he was trying to make you happy despite his feeling. Quite kind of him but not ideal. If you do have a child now consider that he may feel the way you do at the moment.

This isn't a decision about a cat or about where to go on vacation. It is a child that you are deciding to have.

Maybe the best way to think about this is from the child"s perspective rather than you own. A child needs loving parents. One loving parent will also do and this may be the outcome if your hubby isn't ready for one.


Neil wasn't early on and I just waited, no pressure from my side unitl he was. I would have been fine not having any as I was with him to be with him not to have children. Dylan was the most amazing addition though.

My sister left her loved one to have kids. He didn't want any as he has already and she did. Not fair to expect either partner to give up a dream or to change what is important to them especially when it concerns a child.

And yes enjoy the time you have alone. I always ask that couples take time to look at their life together without kids. That should ideally be enough. Actually being content with yourself should be enough.

Meags,

Sweetheart, just enjoy your marriage! There is only half of this year left anyway and before you know it you guys will be TTC. Relax, book your travels and enjoy them! Go to Vegas and enjoy the freedom that comes with being childless, you can actually go into the casinos and play a bit with money that would've otherwise been wasted on pee soakers and poop catchers (nappies LOL) who knows, maybe you win some big buck. Go get 're married' in the most craziest of chapels by elvis presley, just for fun! My old collegues were resident in Vegas for years and when they had to go out on tour they missed it terribly, so much so every year their holiday is to Vegas.

Don't hold it against him, what are you holding against him anyways? That he will make beautiful babies but just in a years time? That he first wants to enjoy life and see some of the world with you first?

I don't think he lead you on hun, he said from day 1 you can TTC from the end of this year, you lead your self on a bit wanting it sooner and sooner to the point where you convinced DH to agree to TTC now.

Just go have fun! Enjoy the next 6m and live recklessly for the last time in your life because even when your kids have left home you won't be able to live recklessly because you'll always worry about them!

Chin up, smile and have a great Sunday!