Babies April 2015

Morning ladies

great to hear from you.
I have been reading but unable to reply due to time.
Khanya is still ebf , I will only start solids at 6mths, I am a bit stricter on my kids diet when they are small due to allergies that run in my family. So once I start him on solids it will only be home cookec vegs. My chicken coup is coming along. hopi,g to finish it this weekend. A friend has blessed us with a gardening sssential to make compast so piling that up. planted a few vegs and seeing them grow is beautiful..
Gloie@ how are you holding up?
has anyone heard from newbiemom and stareyed?
Ronelle and faffy great to hear from you. I am considering puting in an IUD, I am not keen on any preventative that releases hormones as I would have problems with them after a while.
how are all the babies doing?

Hi Ladies!!!

Sooooo nice to hear from you all!!!
Feels just like yesterday that we were all waiting for our little ones to arrive.

RonelleB -

Awesome that dad can have a month with your LG!! He will treasure those days one day and will forget all the screaming.
Sho, don't know what to say about the crying? Not an ear infection perhaps? I know they have pain swallowing with that? Sorry to hear about the reflux, that must be very frustrating. That obviously causes a lot of discomfort for your LO. 4 hours seem very good for formula as far as I can remember, my LO is on a 3 hour milk schedule and at night she stretches 4/5 hours.

The daycare is such a hard choice to make and sometimes one might have to change if one realises you made a mistake (I had to with my first playschool for my eldest). I think a lower child to caretaker ratio is the most important but obviously take things like the quality of the care (trust your gut on this and perhaps a few unannounced visits). I am not too phased about serious baby stimulation/programs - I would think that physical touch is very important and that baby is held and cuddled and talked to as much as possible. Babies thrive on physical touch and a baby who is just lying there the whole day is going to be unhappy I think.

I agree with things being on "auto mode or auto pilot" of terms of your relationship with hubby. So glad everyone is getting back into the "swing" of things. Will probably be a while until we get there.
At least hubby is very understanding of the whole prolapse situation and is extremely supportive without adding any pressure. Bless his soul.

Great to hear about getting some of your former body shape back! I think the good nutrition also helps to cope better with the sleep deprivation and general exhaustion. Strange how I have lost so much weight without even trying...must be the fact that I cut out sugar almost completely because of babies oral thrush and also white refined wheat. Oh, and the 2 - 3 liters of water I am having everyday!

please let us know if your cyst is clearing up and your uterus is back to its former size. xx

Faffymum -

I think if I could find a good daymom that would be my first choice too. Hope it all works out.

So sorry to hear about the thrush. I think I agree with the saying that thrush is THE DEVIL!!! I went through a whole tube of Daktarin gel and bottle of Nystacid and it didn't help. After 3 months of thrush I decided to try a 3 day course of Gentian violet. I so wish I had done it earlier!!!!!! I diluted it much more than the recommended 1% - I think mine was about a 0.25 - 0.50 % solution. Her thrush has been gone for a week now although it seems as if may be coming back slightly...not sure... Let me know if you want the instructions. In the beginning I was washing and sterilising everything like crazy and just stopped because I was going insane microwaving bra's....we almost set the house alight as my brand new carriwell lace bra caught flame when my husband microwaved the bra on a plastic plate. The house smelt like burned plastic for a week!! So, yes....don't know what it means if a man burns his wife's bra in modern times???!!! He he he....

Please try and massage your breast with the lump before it gets worse and if unsure rather see a doctor. Shame, I had a few lumps in the first few weeks and it helped to lie in a deep bath and massage. It helped to express and drain the breast completely. Hope it gets better!!!
I agree it is so easy to whip out the boob and the feeding is over in 10 - 15 minutes.

Hubby and I have decided that our family is complete and will be doing a vasectomy ASAP. I can't take any hormonal pills and I nearly died with the mirena that I wouldn't come close to an IUD/mirena again (although many ladies are happy with this option - please don't let me scare you!)
So...I am too scared too fall pregnant again especially with the POP that we want to go the "permanent" route or as permanent as you can get.

On my side:

I have just given my baby her first Rice cereal and she actually ate about half a tablespoon! Pead said we can give it a go and see if she swallows.
Can't believe we are at solids already!!!

We are so relieved that the scan of my babies skull revealed no problems so far of the growth of the skull or need for surgery to avoid brain damage. We need to go for a follow up appointment with the Neurosurgeon at 6 months again but he said he doesn't even think that we will have to do another scan. SO RELIEVED! After I saw a pic on the internet of how they have to saw open a baby's skull...I was all white and pale...my heart goes out to every parent who has to send their baby for that operation.

I have had to let the company for whom I freelance for know that I won't be able to help them yet at 3 months after baby was born....I never received a reply from them...so, not sure if I will have my job back. I have been in so much pain that I just don't see how how can care for baby and work from home at the moment with me struggling just to keep up with caring for baby alone (and an energetic 6 year old). I am trusting that all will be fine in the end.

Still going for physio for the prolapse. I am still leaking tiny amounts of urine (hope you are getting better Newbiemom). This past week I have had the most improvement and least pain in the last 3,5 months. I really hope that things can stay at least where they are now and not get worse too soon again. It has benefited me emotionally to just have a couple of hours per day without pain.

If any of the FTM have more children, my experience this time round is so much more enjoyable (despite my health challenges). So many people say it is easier second time round and I found it to be so true. I guess only if your baby was born in good health I suppose. My baby is such a happy baby, she smiles constantly - the complete opposite of my first baby! So strange that they are so different.

Baby is waking up....

Nelsn, how is your chicken coup doing? I am so jealous!!! Hope K is doing well. On solids already??

Newbiemom - Regularly thinking of you and your angel with Colic. I am so wishing that it has improved already??

Hugs to everyone else too. xx

One last thing, when using the copper version and you want to fall pregs again, you won't have to wait for the hormones to settle, you can fall pregs almost instantly (like I did! - took IUD out, pregs 2 weeks later)...

@Faffy

Mastitis is no joke. All I can advise is lots of hot showers, the cold cabbage leaves, a good boob massage post every feed (perhaps use some lanolin or nipple cream over the entire breast as it is nice and soft and will provide for smooth massage), take an anti-inflammatory if you can (even herbal anti-inflammatory could work if you're nervous about a scheduled one).

I saw your pic of Fynn in the Bimbo, he is sooo cute man! Glad you and hubby are getting back on track though, like Gloei said, it is difficult but I live in the hope that it too will pass.

IUD - I have now been using IUDs for the last 15 years. I cannot use any hormonal product as I am very prone to clotting and thrombosis so I use the copper IUD. I trust it completely. Have not had any extraordinary or painful periods and no other side effects. I would really recommend it over the hormone version (Mirena) as the hormones also sometimes induce weight gain (like the injection) and apparently painful periods. Could be wrong there, but this is just my humble opinion. Oh, and it lasts 5 years with ease. No worries

hi ronelle. hi everyone.

Thanks for the update
it must be nice and horrible being at work. My turn comes at the end of august. I found a creche that had 6 babies and one caretaker. It seemed like a nice school but I felt weird about it. I then found another school which had more carers per group of babies which seemed much better. then I found a daymom who has about 5 toddlers and only 3 babies under 1. its her and a helper at her own home. I decide to go for the daymom. I just feel she will pick him up and cuddled him as well as change nappies and feed etc. but go with your gut feel I would say. You need to feel comfortable leaving your baby there. We are going to even loose R2000 deposit because we signed up for the first place and then only a week later did I decide its not good enough.

We are also suffering a bit with breastfeeding at the moment. I have thrush and a lump. not mastitis yet but I have to get rid of it somehow. Been there most intense two nights with feeding bottle. I don't know how formula mom's do it. So much easier to pop him on the boob. I am planning to express but work and continue breastfeeding but I am so drained. not sure if can keep it up at work. I am also totally fatigued and feel sick in general. Ronelle I would kill for 4 hours gaps. Fynn eats every two hours. sometime every hour in the afternoon. He wakes up every 2 hours during the night. I haven't had more than a 4 hours stretch of sleep since he was born.

otherwise Fynn is growing nicely. Big and strong. such a lovely little baby. I adore his smiles and he is so much more aware and demands attention and entertainment. so funny. I will miss him so much during the day.

Hubby and I are still working on the us time. We have finally done the deed and it was amazing. but not often enough. We'll get there. We did have a nice spa day together and Fynn went to granny. that was amazing.

RonelleB what IUD are you using? I am deciding between a marina and the implant.

Ok Fynn getting grumpy.
chat later x

Hello fellow mommies!

Wow! Time flies and we have not touched base in 3 weeks already

I trust everyone is doing well? Just thought I'd say hi and give a bit of an update.

Firstly... I am back at work... Nice but also not nice. Hubby is spending the month at home with Laila (good bonding time!), I get to talk to adults, have warm coffee and take bathroom breaks at will BUT I do miss my little terrorist ever so much Can't believe she will be 3 months old on Saturday.

Laila is probably doing well, but with being a FTM I often wonder if I am not missing stuff or doing it right. She's currently still feeding every 4 hours, and I have no idea how to stretch her into longer intervals. She's very much a power napper and takes small naps only during the day. At night she has good nights, and bad nights. AND it seems she's got a bit from me and from dad, the insomnia from me, and being an early riser from dad. So we don't sleep much and then have a wide eyed bubs around 5am every day.

We struggled for weeks on end with cramping and gas and formula issues. Turns out she suffers from really bad reflux. I now have her on the Novalac AR formula and the difference was remarkable - from crying bouts during the night to just being awake and wanting attention.

Having said that, in the last week we've now gotten a "new" crying game. She'd start randomly, almost hysterically, no position of holding or putting down helps, not even the dummy, not even the car. Often that would happen while she's drinking or just as she is about to start drinking and then she won't finish the bottle. No fever either. Mmm. We're stumped and as you can imagine, daddy alone with her at home during the day is taking a lot of strain when this happens. Any suggestions? I wonder if she may be teething early... we see lots of drool and her hands are constantly in her mouth, along with her teether. But no red cheeks, no loose stools or anything like that. Dunno... Help?

We also spent time checking out two daycare centres this morning. Both so different from the other.

One of them caters for kids from 3 mnths to Grade-R. The baby class has 2 babies under 1 yr and then 3 infants below 2 yrs. One minder only. They have this baby class on the upper level of the building away from the other kids. Apparently they do have a development program for them but I could not really see anything. They have the little booklet system and fills in all the details about your baby (feeding, poops etc).

The other only caters for babies between 3 mnths and 24 mnths. They currently have 11 babies there, with 4 ladies tending to all of them and they are all together. They apparently learn through play and I saw them taking some of the babies outside in the garden for play (the ones who woke up from their morning naps). They do not have the booklet system, instead saying that because they are more focused they give you personal feedback on each day when you fetch your baby.

I'm not sure which is better. My heart says the second option where there is more dedicated "baby" effort, and the fact that the little ones get outside in the fresh air is a plus. Am I missing anything obvious?

Things between myself and hubby on a relationship level is good, except that we're in auto mode. We talk about dedicating time to our relationship and spending time alone without baby, but we just can't get it to happen. On an intimate level all is good though and we do seem to be able to make time for that (strange priorities it seems! )

I am going back to the Gynea next week to check if the cyst is getting better and if my uterus has shrunk sufficiently - and of course that the new IUD is doing its job I have also started on a nutrition and exercise program to get this bod back in shape! I am so out of it that I lost all confidence. We went on a small holiday a week ago and I just could not get myself to get into swimwear or even shorts! Given myself till end Oct to get into some sort of a shape (round is also a shape, he he he) so I can wear some shorts again.

I'm fortunate to still see some updates from Faffy and Starry via FB every now and again, but I miss the rest of you too! Please if you have a mo, let us know how you are?

Gotta go. Take care. And lots of kisses to all the beautiful bubs by your side!

Hi Ladies!

Nels - Sounds as if you are multi tasking like a supermom!! Sorry to hear you are still battling with pain from the spinal - it must be so frustrating to still battle with this so long post partum. I really hope it all clears up soon. It is interesting that I have read that according to Chinese medicine they believe the body takes 2 years to recover from pregnancy and return fully to its pre-pregnancy state. Another article mentioned it takes 7 years for your brain to grow back to its previous size??!!! No wonder I still feel so fuzzy around remembering stuff.

So nice to hear you kind find extra work where K can come along too!

Faffymum - Soooo glad to hear things are becoming a bit easier. I will never forget how "shell shocked" I was with my first baby! Things really do become easier, have faith. And yes, your relationship with hubby takes quite a bit of strain (for us it did). Everything is kind of turned upside down. First time round it took us months to resume a "normal" sexual relationship again. It is quite intense when one realises the full effect of having a child opposed to not having children before. There is no way that anyone can really prepare you for what is about to come.
The one thing I regret doing (and I was warned about this...such a cliche) was that my husband and I neglected our relationship. We don't have much of a support structure so it was hard to make time for each other alone, like a date night etc. But I was also focusing too much on baby and my whole life revolved around this baby. Now that I know how important it is to regularly connect with your partner, we really try and put effort in to spend quality time together whenever we have time (usually once all kids are in bed for an hour or so). I still think there is another taboo that people don't speak about...and that is the severity of strain children put on relationships and the deep dark valleys one goes through. Or perhaps it was just us who had a lot of things to work through? It is as if all issues in our relationship could be swept under the carpet but once our first child popped her head out, no longer could the monster under the carpet be kept quiet (if you know what I mean). I guess I would like to suggest that if you see things are going downhill in your relationship with your partner to get help ASAP before the damage is too great. Sho, I don't know if you even wanted to hear all my rambling??? Hope it was not out of place, my apologies if it was.

I never had any problems stopping the Eglyonol - didn't even know you had to wean yourself, perhaps I was just lucky?! I was taking very low doses, perhaps that is why.

I can try to imagine how tough it must be to prepare yourself to leave your baby at the chreche. Sho, don't have much advise. When does he start?

My baby also likes to be carried around the whole time (which tires me especially with the POP). My first baby wasn't like this at all, I could leave her in the pram for times quite happily. Don't think that your baby is getting spoiled, at least I don't believe in that. Surely the creche should do whatever it takes to keep baby happy and not let baby cry it out? Perhaps question the creche about this beforehand so that you can have peace of mind with their approach. I would under no circumstances let baby cry alone, this can really lead to infant depression.
This initial bonding and trust between mom/dad and baby is such and important step in healthy development (I am a fan of attachment parenting). If a baby needs to held, then that is what your baby needs. Perhaps as baby gets older one may to start to get a security object that the baby can start to use to self-soothe (but this takes time). I will be starting now to hold my baby with her soft bunny against her skin while I comfort her should she cry. This way she will start to transfer the feeling of comfort and safety she experiences from me to her soft bunny. Ps: Make sure you have 2 of whatever security object you decide on, if it is a blanket or taglet or whatever. If that ever gets lost...We have doubles of both our children's soft toys, if ever needed...

Hope everyone else is doing well!!

My baby is doing well, apart from still having oral thrush...it is really near impossible to get rid of. The pead says we must continue to give the Daktarin but has also given her an iron supplement which will hopefully boost her immune system to clear up the thrush. Ugh...
Her head is still growing well at all the checkups. We still need to measure her skull growth for the next couple of months to ensure that all is well. She sleeps really well at night - I know that things are going much easier now than compared to how it will go when the teething starts, that is ANOTHER story...So, currently enjoying the nights going well at least.

I was in tears last week after we tried to resume "level 1" of intimacy - I was in constant pain for 6 days afterwards. The fisio referred me to another fisio that speciales in muscle spasms related to the pelvic area. Not looking forward to "internal" massages especially the rectum part! But hopefully they will be able to get rid of trigger points that makes intimacy more bearable. Nothing makes a woman loose all her dignity like childbirth!!

I have lost so much weight - sorry ladies, I know this is not what anyone wants to hear right now....I am weighing the same as 10 years ago when I got married and I haven't been able to weigh that again for the past 9 years. I have to eat so healthy to try and keep my bowels moving. I can really recommend cutting out all sugar and all refined foods and limiting meat intake if you want to loose weight - and drink 3 liters of water per day!

Hope all the other ladies are doing well (and their nunu's too.)