Born Oct/Nov 2015

Zandri, cry if you have to but please don't be hard on yourself, your baby was born just couple of days ago and drs know better .
Its hard i can imagine but remember we are not in control of our own bodies too and that doesn't make you a bad mother at all. Your baby will be home with you soon , just give him time to adjust.

Lots if hugs and love to you and hubby!

Thank you so very much mommies. It means so much to me to have your support. I spoke to my mother in law earlier and she is such a rock and I do feel better.

One thing I am so greatfull for is that I have so much milk. I am expressing every 3 hours and freezing. The nicu said I have to start freezing because stephan can't keep up just yet. They keep some of my milk there for him.

They are tube feeding him to minimize confusion for when he can start on the breast.

My husband is also very stressed but I spoke to him and his support is incredible. Without him I would not have made it thusfar.

Thanks for being able to talk to everyone here
Just talking about it makes things a little easier.

After 14 day's in the hospital and suddenly back at home and not being pregnant anymore but with baby in hospital is a major shock. I think I need to adjust and I try not to cry infront of my husband. He needs time to adjust adwell and me crying is making things very hard for him.

Hope everyone has a lovely day. The weather here in pta is nice and cool.

Lots of love

Zandri, believe me when I say you and Stephan are in ALL of us on here's, thoughts!!! And you have nothing, absolutely NOTHING, to feel guilty about.

PND is VERY real - and the best treatment is having people around you to support you!!! Cry - let it out... Vent as much as you have to - get it off your chest...

I heard continuing to take your prenatal vitamins & omegas after birth can assist with baby blues. Maybe give it a try? And get some rescue remedy or ReliCalm. In order to take care of your boy, you need to first take care of yourself.

I don't think one of us here had to endure what you are currently going through - being at home whilst your baby is still in hospital? I can't even imaging how it must be affecting you, but like Lauz said - you have to be strong now for your boy. Babies will pick up on your emotional state.

So please...don't be so hard on yourself! You are doing the best you can and your boy is in the best care for now.

Oh yes...and talk to hubby! I can assure you he's going through the same emotional rollercoaster as you are. Lean on eachother...

Baie liefde vir julle en voorspoed!!!

XxxX



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Lauz is right!!! You really don't have anything to beat yourself up about, this is just one of many tests to make you a stronger person, and i have no doubt you will come out stronger at the other end!!! Baby blues is much worse than people think and i know its very hard to "ruk jouself reg" so maybe if your not feeling any better by next week you should speak to your gp??
I hope you have a good day with your lb today, and holding thumbs he can come home soon!!!

Afm, im loving this cooler weather!! Not planning on doing much today, might start with shortening baby's curtains but im no rush (facepalm)

Hope everyone has a good weekend xx

Hi Zandri, hugs to you even though they virtual I really do send you the hardest biggest hugs! Baby blues happen and it's ok to be emotional and cry and hate yourself. Trust me I know I was there mine was a little different it was more based on the fact that I couldn't breastfeed, I felt like I was the worst mom in the world and that I was useless.

I want you to know you aren't. It's not your fault your son is in ICU. You did your utmost best to look after yourself unfortunately pregnancy took a different turn for you, there is nothing you could have done to have stopped it.

Talk to your husband and let him know how you feel as well, if it wasn't for me telling my husband how I felt and hearing those comforting words with the help from a few other mommies I was able to be open with I probably would have had PND.

Try get all your crying out at home and on the drive to hospital try put those emotions aside and use that tiny little bit of strength you have in you to be as positive as possible so you can give Stephen that good energy. He will feel how you are determined and he will start following suit.

As for your mother you do not need that negativity around you! So good on you for telling her to go. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family!

Hugs and love! Take it easy on yourself and try not beat yourself up you are a brilliant mommy and it's not your fault xx


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Good morning ladies

@Laus- yes I came home yesterday. Stephan is still at the hospital and yes he is still in nicu. They say he has to be able to bfeed on his own with me for 24 hours and cope well before he can come home.

@PP how are you coping? I am really struggling . I don't have lots of pain but getting in and out of bed is a mission.

I have to confess that I have not been coping all that well. I am very depressed and I crying all the time. Last night my hubby drove me to the hospital at 22:00 and we only got back at 00:30 this morning. I Had to see my boy. I slept 3 hours now I am up again. It is not just that I miss my baby I am just very sad all the time. My mother is also of no help because she keeps telling me of how babies can die in icu so I asked her to go visisit suster.

Sorry for venting but it helps helps to talk about it I guess.

I have decided to go and talk to a vriend of mine who has gone through the same thing. Her boy was also born pre mature and had to stay in hospitat for two weeks. I never believed in baby blues but I realize now that it is very very real.

I Can't help blaming myself for Stephan being in nicu. I feel that I should have done a better job. Silly I now but it is so incredibly hard to see him like that.

Anyway done venting sorry for the depro update.

I will try to be strong for my boy and to stop crying for my hubbies sake. He hates it when I cry and all this is pritty hard on him as well.

I'll let everyone know how things go today. I am planning on staying with my boy all day today.

Lots of love

That's great news Juanita! I'm sure you very relaxed now knowing its next week ☺️

PP you settling in nicely at home with El?

Zandri did you also leave today? How is Stephen doing?


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