The fine print on the Mommy contract

Don't get me wrong there are moms who are able to flick on the cowboy hat and scream "ride 'em cowboy" like no one's business, six days after they have pushed a 4 kilogram baby out of thier vagina.

Unfortunately that is just not me. And I am a little in awe of them (and a little jealous).

Maybe life would be easier if I had a hat .... and a horse ..... and a riding crop ..... but that is another thread for another day.

So well said, RM.

I've been "disturbed" by Emily's voice over the monitor merrily chatting away to her teddy bears 20 minutes after she had been checked on and was supposedly "fast asleep" for the night.
I started giggling and after that, there is no way to go back to your "happy place" for the rest of the night.

Sex - I think it is different for everyone.

For many of us we struggle with our new image, and that maybe we do not like our saggy bits. You also know that those breasts were used for feeding, so somehow (in your mind) you may struggle to go well, they can also be sex toys.

Obviously I am not speaking for everyone.

But for me there was a shift. I view my body differently, I am less likely to be "swept away" because I live more in my head now even than I did before, so tha tis difficult.

I also am often exhausted, and even if the door is closed, I expect a child to appear.

I can't tell you how many times during an act, I have had to leave because one of my kids has gone to the bathroom and is screaming for me to come and wipe thier ar*s - somehow that image stays with you.

I think being intimate and being unrestricted is harder when you have kids.

I think you have to work harder at your relationship to make those intimate moments more for everyone.

Sometimes however you are so tired from it all, that you do not have the energy to do the work, and sometimes just want to be left alone to read and drink your cup of tea.

However some times sex next to the pool at night when the kids are in bed also seems like a good idea.

So it depends on the person, depends on the situation and depends on which way the wind is blowing.

Is it true you become sexless beings for years after the baby???
Basically you turn into a Nun!!???????

Just curious?

Interesting topic. If I knew being a mommy was such hard work I would've waited a few more years before starting a family!
I had a fairly easy pregnancy. I was writing my final exams for my degree when I was 3 months pregnant and I got so stressed out that I was put on bed rest and I ended up failing 2 papers.
I was terrified of giving birth but I got through it without an epidural but I had an episiotomy and couldn't sit or walk properly for a few weeks!
Liam is an easy baby but the first 3 months he only wanted to be carried. He would scream when I put him down. Add to that the waking every 2 hours at night and cracked nipples.
He's now 8 months and now that he is mobile he hates being carried. I'm running after him the entire day. I haven't had a full night's rest for 8 months and I still have pregnancy weight to lose.
Despite all the work, having a baby is such a blessing. I cried the first time he laughed, the first time he rolled onto his tummy, the first time he crawled and the first time he stood up. He also started saying mama last week and my heart is so full with love for this little person it's worth all the work.

EXACTLY Elamsmom,

When we left the hospital , I remember thinking : They are just going to let me walk out of here without asking me if I can take care of him. Without some sort of passing of written exam. We just walked out.

Makes total sense. I usually explain the VERY same thing to people in EXACTLY the same words about the 1st few weeks.

what makes it harder is that a newborn gives you NOTHING. and you are besides yourself trying to predict and cater to their every need. THEN THAT 1st SMILE. WOW!!!

I really only started mildly enjoying motherhood as my daughter became more interactive and responsive. she is now 9 months and giggles when u tickle her or play with her, smiles constantly, reaches for you to picke her up/hug her...the scales of giving and receiving definitely become more even/level as the child grows & it's an amazing "warm,fuzzy feeling."

Makes up for the one that eluded you when the baby was born. I was the same. waiting to be drowned in an ocean of love and "warm,fuzzy feelings" at the sight of the baby. Instead...nothing. Just an overwhelming anxiety that this tiny, fragile,crying little being was now mine forever and ever and ever. No "Return within 30 days if you still have the slip and item is in same condition as when u bought it etc etc."