ANYONE HERE THAT DECIDED ON 1 CHILD ONLY?

RM the Xmas morning that you describe makes me want to have another 3!

But yes it's a huge decision and one that will take me a couple of years to make. And Julz you're absolutely right I am nowhere near ready.

I'm usually a very decisive person though so things like this tend to drive me a little nuts.

Also the fact that at 33 years old I still regularly have big blow outs with my 35 year old sister doesn't help at all.

Kristin - I am not sure how you decide to have more or to stop having more - I have no idea how one deciphers that with all the voices that run around in one's head.

We have a friend who has just had a fourth child - he commented that he had to make a decision whether they wanted to have four children, as children can be quite expensive ... he figured he can choose to buy a nicer car or have a fourth child ... he chose the fourth child rather than the upgraded car.

I thought that was quite a simple way to look at it.

I look at it that if we had one child, we would have much more time and energy and resources for that one child. But we have decided to have three (I will leave out that I am pushing for a fourth as that will make this conversation too complicated) - the decision was not made lightly regarding conceiving any of our kids, and it really was a choice in each case.

Sure it will make planning my children's education more tricky (the costs of a good high school and tertiary fees).

Sure it might mean that I cannot deck my kids out in Naartjie and Earth Child, so they will have to settle for Ackermans, but what I am giving them is big Sunday lunches, mad afternoons around the pool, wild totally uncontrolled Xmas mornings as everyone dives for thier gifts under the tree, the love of siblings.

Also the gift that people will always come walking to their rooms, and use thier stuff and there is just no privacy in our house.

I can argue as easily for a big family as I can for a small - however every year our (financial) situation gets better. We work hard and try to make smart decisions for our future.

But to have more children in my situation - I cannot afford to be a stay at home mom, so that has to be one real sacrifice to make. We cannot afford 3 (or more) children on one person's salary.

If we had made the decision to have only 1 child back then because that is what we can afford, I would have regretted it now as our situation is so different now than what it was then.

But everyone's decisions and the reason for thier decisions differ.

I respect others for making a different set of decisions based on what they were faced with at the time of the decision.

For me, I like the idea of having more than one kid, are you ever sure this is the right decision, no, you will always stand there and wonder what the results would be if you decided in the other direction.

I always say that if you don't know then you are not ready for the second one. You will know when the time is right.

This is something that I spend alot of time thinking about. I change my mind daily so I am nowhere closer to a decision but I suppose that I still have some time. I am 33 and struggled to fall pregnant with my now 5 month old LG.

Initially we agreed on 1 but after Casandra was born I started thinking that that would not be my only experience of pregnancy. That I really want to experience natural childbirth after having an emergency c-section. That I have so much love inside me that I didn't even know was there. That I love my daughter so much that I want to give her a sibling. But I also realise that apart from the love aspect those are all the wrong reasons to have a 2nd child.

We also are not particularly wealthy and having a second child would be a financial strain whereas at the moment we can still consider a nice holiday once a year and buy nice things. But then is that really that important? Also, man oh man, I am tired. I don't think I would have the energy to do this all again with the added exhaustion of a busy toddler.

So I suppose I also want to know, how do you decide?

lol I beg to differ. cool on the boy.

lol, i actually think girls are worse now,
thanks Julz, She just found out she is going to have a boy too

Katz it's all good. I am so pleased I have my son and to be honest I think I am too old for more. Boys are a handful. He brings us amazing joy though.

I am really pleased for your SIL. It takes tremendous strenght to go through fertility treatment. It must be so difficult being around babies.

xxx