When ..... ?

As Justine said, not everything is on our side and our "plan" does not (or normally) work out the way we want it to.

If everything went according to plan, I would be married with 3 kids right now. But alas - not married but been together for 13 years with 1 beautiful LG.

Don't want to scare anyone, but that is exactly what is on my mind too. Given my history, what if I lose another one again while trying for No 2......

Time waits for no-one! and its not all in our hands....

If you want No.2 - go for it!! Try now if it happens straight away, the finances will sort themselves out, your fears and emotions will work themselves out, you will just manage, cos that is what we are designed to do..... we manage and we get through each day as it comes.....

Good luck!!

South Africa is one of the fewer countries in the world where we believe it is essential to own a home.

If that is one of your worries don't. A true home owner is one who owns their home outright. In other words, doesn't own the bank money.

Not that many of us do. All it means is that we can paint our house whatever colour we like and sell it if the paw paw hits the fan. We are pretty stuck if we don't like out neighbours etc so not that great!

Renting is perfectly fine!!!!! If that is your biggest concern then no worries.

As for planning when to have one. As if!!!!

This is the one thing that is totally out of our hands.

Justine, definitely the word of reason ... nicely said!

I am not one in favour of procreation without any thought, but there is a point where one must throw caution to the wind, along with the BCP and just do a "suck it and see it" - metaphorically speaking of course!!

can i butt in here?
i'd say one shouldnt get too obsessed with trying to plan a baby to fit in with your schedule, ie. your preference to have one in the winter because its more comfortable, not have one over christmas because it sucks to have your birthday disappear amongst all the other festivities... etc etc...

these were all of my thoughts and i really did think i had it all perfectly planned for #2 and then nature gave me a slap and i had a miscarriage.

truth is, if we wait till we are perfectly ready we may be waiting too long. i know of so many people unexpectedly struggling to conceive #2 (often after #1 that came along easily).

i say, if you quite like the idea of a second and have at least an idea of whether you'd be able to afford a second... then throw the birth control away and start practicing now! i mean lets face it, none of us are ever truly ready for a new baby

I'm going to tentatively climb onto the wagon here. After much nagging on my part DH has decided that he would like to TTC for no 2 later this year. My first is 14 months now.

So ja I nagged and nagged, he relented and now I'm pooping myself. Do I REALLY REALLY want to go through all of this again? I adore my daughter. But I honestly don't know if I can do it again. I am only just starting to get a decent amount of sleep and consider myself lucky for that, I have read that some Mom's are sleep deprived up until their child is 2. C has been relatively easy apart from colic. What if my 2nd child isn't as easy?

And as mentioned above what if I fall pregnant with TWINS?!?!?! There are twins in my family history. Vix I will make sure not to bd too much. That will be my excuse! "But sweetie we can't do it AGAIN tonight. What if we wind up preggies with twins?" Absolutely brilliant excuse.

I need my life to calm down a bit so that I can take some time to think.

thanx Vix, I will check it out!

sorry gals, i totally ended up taking over this thread with multiple talk which wasn't what i intended.

Hapi- don't know if you saw but i opened a multiple mommies thread on preg & birth

we can talk more about coping skills there and give these gals a break.

@ Elamsmom- mmmm i love my boys but i would never purposefully do this again. The pregnancy was tough, and having to see my boy in NICU was horrible, prem babies aren't nearly as much fun as full term babies and then still to have a toddler, my nights are tough but my days even tougher! Good luck if that's what you REALLY want.