When ..... ?

Interesting topic...

I have a 10 month old and hubby is already eager for no.2 but as usual, us women have to be the voice of reason. I know 110% that I do want no.2. The question is WHEN...? The things I am considering are:

1) My 1st born's age- I want to have some time with her alone 1st to nurture her and spoil her & allow her to be a mommy's baby , and I want her to be old enough to appreciate it (that may be too long to wait tho). My younger brother came along when I was 2yrs,3months old and I honestly do not ever remember him not being there even tho i hear abt how adored and spoilt i was, I don't remember so what's the point?

2) (this is an extension on 1st point above)- I don't want my baby to have to grow up too quickly-being an older sister having to be responsible and help to look after her brother/sister when she is still a baby herself and even tho I know parents don't mean to put that burden on older siblings, it is just natural and practical...

3) My carreer. I qualified in 2009, in 2010 started a new job and 4 months later was off for 4 months to have a baby. went back to work, only to have my wedding a month later and and and... so i almost feel as if since i qualified, I haven't really had time to focus on establising myself career-wise and developing and growing...

4) Our finances, still renting etc...the usual stuff but this list is in order of importance for me,so these everyday issues are the least of my concerns although they do feature & I do think about them a lot...

Sorry for essay, but guess my point is...it's often not a matter of questioning whether or not we want baba no.2 cos guess u wudn't have posted this if u weren't yearning for another baba, but the question is often WHEN...and the when is dictated to by all the worldly, practical issues that we consume ourselves with...and as some ladies here have attested, most of the time it's abt taking a leap of faith and just doing it and most of the time, things will just work out.

Hi Maryka.

I feel like I'm looking at my own post there!!
I did, and quite often still do, feel exactly the same way!!
My heart wants number 2 SO badly, but my head keeps butting in!!
I keep on worrying about the financial aspect, the fact we ALSO rent and don't own (don't think we ever will own actually), the thoughts of how hard it was to get my son to where he is now (he was a very sickly child), the thoughts of all the hospital stays, the tears, the drama, the nervousness of "am I doing this all the right way".....I could honestly go on and on!
BUT....with all of this, I'm still yearning the second baba....
And so is my son. He is extremely lonely.
We are now back on Fertility drugs, and my 5 year old son knows that we trying to give him a brother/sister....so he keeps track of what days I'm supposed to take my med's. He reminds me every day "Mommy, you have 3 sleeps left until you take your medicine to help your seed grow"....THAT RIGHT THERE gives me the piece of mind that what we in our hearts want is what we will do.....should I be honoured and blessed enough to fall pregnant with our second angel.

That is just my story.....hope it makes some sense to you

Hapi - you will do great !! It will be hard so I have also realised but you will do GREAT !! Sometimes I think that every parent worries. If you don't worry then there is something wrong

And when you worry your are more careful and then hopefully you don't go into something blind. That's what I always say.

And it is so true - life happens. But somehow we all get to the other side

Hi Maryka

this is my first pregnancy and I cant really offer any advice as to what makes a couple want to have a 2nd child.

I personally think that you can never be 100% ready. Life sometimes just happens and there is always something that will make you 2nd guess a decision - either money is not enough or
we dont live in a big enough house or we dont have car etc etc.

I went to great lengths to fall pregnant and I just realised that Im not as ready as I thought I was, dont get me wrong these babies are very much wanted but now that it has happened the reality is a bit scary for me. I keep on asking myself, will I be a good mom, will I be able to give them the best that I can, will i be able to raise good citizens of the world blah blah blah.

Good Luck in your decision.

P.S. Good luck with nr3. I think that is GREAT !!!!

Thank you 2kidmamma !!

Have you felt like you have made a decision 99% but you just NEED someone to tell you that : it's ok...... ?

Thank you for telling me it's ok !! I really needed that today