When ..... ?

I remember this question being asked before.

I remember a lot of moms thought a good age gap was around 2 years and 9 months. Basically start TTC when your fist born is around 2 years old.

We will be going for this option as I don't think I will be able to cope with a smaller age gap, although I know some moms do it, but it sounds really tough.

Just my 50 cents.

Ok, so what are you waiting for, come joing us on the TTC thread soon as you and Hubby have talked it through. Looking forward to sharing the journey with you.

@ Deja - our little girl is 19 months

@ 2kidmamma - thank you so much. I usually always need someone to tell me it's ok. Thank you again !!

@Elamsmom - I think you took all my thoughts and worries and put it on paper --- or shall I say screen. LOL

I really really want another baby. A friend of mine had her little one and when I held the new tiny baby I started crying. Cause at that very instant I thought : this is what I want. I want another baby. But is it normal to take over you mind like this ???

I believe we will own a house - one day. But for now I love my flat on the 3rd floor and I LOVE the people next to me. I remember when I was at varsity I LOVED being in the hostel. And this block of flats remind me of a hostel. We all have huge flats but we all are friends. I for now that is much more important than owing a house.

But I think that my LG is at a nice age for us to try for another one. Maybe we battle for a couple of months and then by the time she is 3 there will be a baby brother or sister.

Thank you to all of you who commented. It usually feels like coming to you best friends house and having a nice chat and cries with all you ladies. I feel so much better and I think I have now made up my mind.

Just needed that - IT'S OK !!

thanx Maryka for the reassurance.

To be honest I really needed to hear it !

Hey Maryka - great subject!

I think deciding on a second child is a bit more scarey, as you sort of know a bit more, and are more afraid of stepping into the void!

The short answer is that it is not possible to cover all the possible outcomes and permutations.

Probably the only thing you need to consider is what you and your partner want. If you want a second child, then everything else falls into place.

Money (in most cases) sorts itself out. Second child you spend less as you waste less, as you do not get pulled into buying the stuff you do not need.

Time is always an issue - sure you do not have as much time for your 2nd child, but that does sort itself out. You may find your 1st child starts to develop a closer relationship with your partner as this point, which allows you to focus more time on the new sibling.

Space is definitely the issue (well for me) - but many people cope with less. I like large areas of open space, so we needed to upgrade.

I also was stressed (like certifiably) about how we would cope, and even though I wanted a 2nd child and engineered the entire thing, I was really distressed when I fell pregnant, as I just could not understand how we would cope (we were not at the best point of our relationship).

But - in my case - and I do not speak for everyone, but I did not find the 2nd child more difficult than the first. I haved had a 3rd and am enjoying her more than I did 1 and 2 - not because I like her any more, but because I am older, wiser and do not stress about the little stuff.

Time, money and space will always be an issue - the more you have odds are the less stress there will be.

But happy, settled people find a way to cope with a lot less.

Good luck (I also hoped to get a sign from someone that I was doing the right thing, but for me it was a case of something going on in my head that just felt right - and it was right for me to decide to have a 2nd and a 3rd).

TRACYM:aaaaaawwww, that is soooooo adorable-your son reminding u abt your meds!!!

Oh ya, u reminded me of something...whilst I don't want no.2 to come too early, I also worry about my daughter getting lonely and, coming from a big family of 5 kids, I know how nice it is to grow up together with your siblings...never having to be alone...like having a permanent sleepover with your best friend/s.

I also think having siblings gives a child a sense of security that "onesies" sometimes lack. when you have siblings, you are not so desperate to fit in or to be part of an outside unit/circle of friends... if that makes sense...

anyway, will shut up now...clearly this topic is very passionate one for me

Maryka, it will all be fine and it really is ok. I know what you mean, I often feel like I need reasurance from an unbiased party and that always helps alot.