New Moms get a raw deal from not-so-new-moms ....

Yes, I did, when the twins were small. I still have contact with some of the moms. I assume you did too?

Nelia, did you ever chat on Baba en Kleuter?

2kidmamma
I agree! The staff at Stellenbosch made my stay and the whole birth experience great!
This time round I'm going to Vredenburg and from what I hear they have the same attitude.

@ Nelia Smit, I birthed both my children via C-Sec at Stellenbosch and I must say none of those staff were every pushy because I struggles with feeding or that I had had a c-sec. It was after when I went to the consultants that the trouble Started. Stellenbosch are very 'Mom friendly" They look out for the Mom and don't ever judge you or treat you in a way that makes you feel guilty. Although I never formula fed in Hospital there were others around me that did, some that didn't even try to breastfeed and the staff were so supportive to them. Why can't all "experts" be like this??

Hi
My turn at the AA meeting
When my eldest was born, he just woudn't latch. Every time they brought him to me the sister pulled and squashed my breast and not even a drop of milk would appear.

So when day 2 came to an end, and I couldn't stand them bringing my baby to me and he cried and cried I said bring on the formula!

Luckily for me I had a great support system (my in-laws adn husband) who spported me in this decision. My mother in law went through the same with all 3 her children.

I'm a people pleaser, so if I get a little trouble I'd rather suffer and keep the other person happy than be happy myself.

So when the gyno, pead and 2 sisters came to give me a lecture on how my child will suffer for the rest of his life I burst into tears.

When they all walked out the gyno stayed behind and saie. You will be the best mom you can to you kid, and if that means formula, so be it. Don't let them force you into anything.
I loved him for that.

From that day on I enjoyed my boy endlessly, his not sick, his not dumb and we have a great bond!

(By the way I also had a C-section, because I asked for it)

With the twins I asked for formula from the start,(in Stellenbosch) no one looked at me funny ONCE.
Ande they are also fine.

I made that decision and it worked for me.
I had a lot of judgement.
My best friend (who doesn't have any kids by the way) gave me a huge lecture about how I should BF the next baby, I owe it to him/her.

I just said, when the time comes I will decide what is best for me and baby.

Lckily I've grown up a bit and decided to turn a deaf ear on all judgement!

Meags wrote:

2KM - I know how you feel!!! I too was strapping the good old tube to my boob! Really not ideal...especially when Matt would pop on and off the boob 20 times or more per feed and then the milk would drop all over the place from the tube. Had to use my mouth to kink the tube until he would finally latch again then let go quickly so he got instant gratification or he'd pop off again....RM - it was then I had the same thoughts as you about this tube...why am I doing this to myself????? That was my AHA moment...

I can relate to wanting someone to tell me its ok to stop pumping. 2KM I am one of those who gets a ridiculous amount of milk per pumping session. At first I was impressed - now I hate it. People are constantly saying 'But you have so much milk! You can provide for so many months if you keep pumping'. Well yes - but I dont want to pump anymore!! I have oversupply - everytime I shower, I become engorged as I don't leak at all and manual expressing doesn't work. Everytime I hold Matt and he cries I get letdown - again no leaking - so further engorgement. By the time I pump, I have huge rocks on my chest and it's sore!!
I just want the milk to dry up and be gone with the whole pumping scenario.
I mostly want my DH to tell me he's ok with me not providing BM anymore. From the start he has been on and on at me about BM being vital and I agreed. But 2 months down the line and a freezer full of milk, I am over it...he's had 2 months of exclusive BM and he'll get another full month off the freezer stock. Only now that we will be travelling overseas does my DH finally say it's ok to stop pumping, as I wont exactly be able to pump on trains and planes and look after Matt...

I agree we need a support group for women who didn't manage to BF successfully...infact...perhaps one of us should start a thread?!

Meags, whoever invented the bright idea of suplement feeding through a medical feeding tube should be shot. It's a surefire recipe for unnesecary stress and a whole host of other issues. But as a Mom becasuse you feel so "Guilty" about the possibility of not being able to BF your child you will do anything the BF experts tell you to do even if it is degrading, time consuming and stressfull, then you have an AHA moment and wonder what the Hell you are busy doing to yourself and that it is all so uncessary.

I love Sterretjies post, it sounds just like me. I had all the same issues sterretjie and strongs to you in your plight to make people aware that you and your children are just as normal as the BF, Natural birth and @ Home babies and Mom's. We are not an ignorant, misinformed, uncaring lot of woman that just want to take the easy route in life. We all have our issues and reasons and I just wish from the bottom of my heart Woman and people in general would just be a little less judgemental and a little more supportive.

Hi (this will be my first session at the "AA" meeting)

My name is Sterretjie and I only breastfed for 3 days. No breastfed consultant available at hospital because I decided to give birth on the 24th of December. By the time I managed to get to a lady I looked like Dolly Parton and my child was getting more yellow by the hour. I had to make a choice of either going on or to give her formula. I chose formula.

I also had a C-section due to medical reasons.

I also decided Inge will go to crèche and not a day mother or stay at home with my maid.

Yes, I have been judged a million times for the above three reasons and guess what - I don't give two hoods. I carried her for 38 weeks successfully; my C-section was successfully and I recovered well; yes, she has an ear infection at the moment but please don't tell me kids that stay at home doesn't get sick too. So to the people that judged me (not on here) if you don't contribute to her upbringing then keep your judgement to yourself.

Why do we judge so quickly? The nurse at the storks nest have told me at each and every visit that she breastfed for 7 months exclusively and her son only started eating solids at 7 months - that's great and I'm proud of you but unfortunately my situation was different.

Since becoming a mom I have answered peoples questions as honestly as possible. Is a C-section sore? Yes, it is but I got over it quickly. One of the ladies at work gave me a piece of her mind because she asked me were will Inge go after I returned to work. When I said Creche she told me in no uncertain terms what a bad mom I am.

any way at the end of the day we all have our own believes and thinking. I always believe it is not what people say but the way they say it. Most importantly you as a mother will know what is best for your child - if you ask for advice - listen to it and decide what and how much you will use. and if people judge you just smile and say thank you!!!!!!