Mei/Junie 2015 Mammas!

The power was mine
BY PAMELA JORRICK

I woke up that morning with a feeling. Maybe this would be the day. She was one day late already, just to let me know who was in charge, I think. Of course at that point I didn’t even know that she was a she. I guess there was a lot I didn’t know.
I had read enough about birth and babies and mothering; you would think that I would have been prepared. Much that I read seemed so distanced though, like it was just a medical event, not a right of passage. Some of it was akin to a horror story. I couldn’t find much reading material that made this whole childbirth thing seem very empowering, but I did read a few things that gave me a glimmer of hope. I was not going to be one of those women who went to the hospital at the first twinge of discomfort, only to find out that they were only one centimeter dilated, or worse, not even really in labor. I would know when it was time. The trouble was, when I woke up that morning…

I wasn’t sure. I had been feeling achy for a few days, but it was nothing major. Something was different that morning, but I wasn’t going to jump the gun. In the birth stories I had read, it seemed that the earlier the woman went to the hospital, the longer the whole thing took, and the more unpleasant interventions were involved. I called my midwife to tell her what I was feeling. “Well, it may be today, or it may be tomorrow. Babies come when they’re ready,” she told me. My husband had left before dawn that morning. He was a commercial fisherman and it was crab season. I had the boat captain’s cell phone number, but I was hesitant to use it. What if this was nothing, and I made the boat come back early? Then again, what if this was the real thing and my husband missed it? I decided to just wait for a sign and go on with my morning. The tightening in my huge belly increased, but I still felt well enough to walk my dog and work in the garden. The contractions grew stronger and more regular, but I still was not ready to say that this was really labor. Fortunately, the seas were rough that day and retrieving the crab pots was too difficult. My husband’s boat returned around lunch time. When I told him what was going on, he was as excited as a little kid who just found out he’s going to Disneyland. He immediately had me walking around the block to “get labor going” like we had read about. This man, who normally walks about as fast as a banana slug, was speeding down the road like one of those jog-walking old ladies, with me waddling alongside. After five or ten blocks, I wanted to rest. My husband was quick to tell me all about how walking helped labor progress and gravity would work against me if I was lying down. “Blah, blah, blah,” is what I was thinking. He sounded like one of the adults in the old Charlie Brown cartoons. When he came out with a camera to capture the special memories, I had to laugh and remind myself that babies could hear in the womb. The cursing reply I had in mind would probably not be appropriate.

Things began to speed up, and I really couldn’t deny that this was it. Still, for some reason, I was leery of being wrong and looking like an idiot. I could still walk and talk through most contractions, and overall I felt pretty good. I had an appointment with the midwife at 3:30 that day. By 3:00 I was trying to decide whether to go there or straight to the hospital. I opted for the midwife, not wanting to go into the hospital any earlier than I had to. Labor is a private thing for me. I didn’t want to be with strangers where I knew I would have IVs and needles and drugs pushed on me.

At the midwife’s office, I was having a bit more trouble talking through the contractions. When she checked me, we were all surprised to learn that I was already over halfway there! She suggested that if I was planning on going to the hospital, we ought to get going and she would meet us there. We arrived at the hospital to find that all the lovely birthing suites with the cheerful home-like floral wallpaper were full. All I wanted at that point was to get in a hot tub of water. They put me in the post-operative room, where women go after cesareans. It only had a shower, so I made use of that. The nurses seemed really anxious to get me in an official birthing room. I am not sure what would have been the big deal about my giving birth in the post-op room. It had a bed and water, that’s all I needed. But hospitals have their protocols, and I guess someone got kicked out and a room
was cleaned up for me in no time. When I moved there, I was beginning to tire of this labor business.

My midwife checked again and said that I was fully dilated and could begin pushing. I don’t know why, but it came as a shock to me that I was going to have to do more work. “Won’t the baby just wiggle out on its own?” I asked, not feeling at all up to my task. Logically, I knew this wasn’t how it worked, but there is little room for logic in labor. She told me that the baby and I were fine, so there was no hurry. Part of me was afraid to start pushing, like maybe the baby wouldn’t be OK when it came out. Finally, after about 20 minutes of waiting through the contractions, I got sick of it. I realized that I was the only one who could get this show on the road, so I got down to business. Pushing a baby out is, without a doubt, the hardest physical work I have ever done. But it was also a relief because I was doing something proactive. I had never been a physically active person, mind you. I never played sports and didn’t run unless something like a rabid dog was chasing me. But birthing my baby, I felt so powerful and strong. I could have shouted, “I am woman, hear me roar!” Of course I opted not to in that setting.

Nevertheless, there was a power I found in childbirth that just doesn’t get mentioned in the books and articles. And the power was mine, not some doctor’s or nurse’s. It was mine. Within less than half an hour of pushing, she was born. A red skinned baby with a head full of black hair. She was so peaceful, not crying or fussing like the babies on TV who get whacked on their behind as a welcome to the world. She wasn’t all glassy eyed and loaded looking, like the babies I’ve seen who were born with an epidural. She was quiet, but alert. They laid her on my belly and she just looked up at me, checking out everything with one eye open and one shut. She was alive and healthy and beautiful! And then, all of a sudden, she peed all over me. Apparently that startled her because she started screaming like a banshee. We all started laughing and crying at the same time. I was amazed that I had actually grown this perfect little person inside of me. I named her Lily. After teasing her father, who had been so sure he spotted a penis on the ultrasound, we got started with nursing. It was a bit shocking at first. I never realized that such a small thing could have such an incredibly strong suction force. But my body adjusted quickly and I was in love with the idea that I was still growing her. We adjusted the hospital bed, snuggled down and just enjoyed being together, our new little family. It was definitely the most incredible and empowering thing I had ever done.

Hi julle. Ek is 'n roofkyker hier by julle. Hier kom 'n laaaang email, want ek hou van die hele geboorte gee onderwerp.

Gou bietjie oor myself. Ek het 2 kiddies en het normaal gekraam met beide. Met die 1e het ek spinale verdowing gehad wat ek eintlik nie moes of wou kry nie, maar ek het heeltemal niks van normale geboorte geweet nie, want Alexander is vroeg gebore en ek was baie oningelig.

Met Cherise het ek geen pynverligting gehad nie en het die ervaring ongelooflik geniet, al was dit die pynvolste ervaring van my lewe.

Met beide is ek geknip en weet nie regtig wat my mening daaroor is nie, want ek weet nie hoe belangrik dit regtig was nie. Beide geboortes was "kort", die 1e 6 ure vandat my water gebreek is en die 2e 3 uur 45 minute vandat ek geinduseer is (my induksie was een van die suksesvolles).

Met beide kon ek dieselfde dag opstaan en bad en met die 2e het ek sommer spesiale toestemming gekry om die volgende dag al ontslaan te word. Die steke is ongemaklik, maar glad nie so erg soos wat dit klink nie. Die spitz bad doen wondere en dis sommer gou gesond.

Ek is 'n voorstaander van normaal kraam, maar glad nie so erg soos party van die mense nie. Ek is 'n voorstaander daarvan oor ek positiewe ervarings gehad het en al paar minder goeie keiser stories gehoor het wat my bang gemaak het.

My raad aan julle is, weet net genoeg. Weet van die verskillende fases van kraam, weet van die onderskeie pyn verligting opsies en ander intervensies (knip, water breek deur dokter). Weet daarvan sonder om dead set te wees op 'n spesifieke plan. As ek geweet het die spinaal sou die drukwerk so moeilik gemaak het sou ek dit nie gevra het nie (was te ver om epiduraal te kry). En ek was vies oor die rukkie pyn wat ek vrygespring het so kort was.

Ek gaan 'n nuwe post doen met 'n geboortestorie wat ek in 'n boek gelees het wat super cool is en wat uitstaan is die feit dat die vrou in beheer was. Sy praat van "The power was mine", en dis die belangrikste vir my.

Ha ha ha, ja ek wil GLAD NIE videos of enige iets sien nie, hoe minder ek weet, hoe beter. Ek wil on the day ook tog asb net niks weet wat daar onder aangaan nie - ek weet party vrouens vra om te sien...neeeeeeeeeeeeeee dankie!! Ek kyk altyd weg as ek moet laat bloed trek ens, want my brein maak dit 1000 keer erger as ek die naalde ens sien. As ek niks sien nie is dit nie erg nie. So ek dink ek volg maar dieselfde benadering met geboorte! Hulle moenie laat ek enige instrumente of enige woorde soos "sny" ens hoor nie, hahaha. Hulle moet maar net doen!!

Ek het gehoor van die Dischem ene maar nog nie gaan uitvind nie, moet bietjie gaan! Wanneer kry mens MediClinic se sak, eers as mens in die hospitaal is? Met die toer het ek vergeet om te vra of mens linen savers moet saamvat. Die vrou het niks gese nie... net gese dat as mens weet jy gaan nie borsvoed nie moet jy liewers jou eie bottels en melk saamvat, maar as jy beplan om te borsvoed en baba kan nie of moet top-up kry, het hulle melk beskikbaar. Die vrou wat dit aangebied het was regtig nice en die ander susters ook so daaroor voel ek meer gerus. Maar dis steeds maar scary - die kraamkamer-plek lyk nie so erg soos op movies nie, maar daai steriele reuk FREAK MY UIT, ek het in my binneste vlou geword, HAHAHAHAHAA. Ek hoop maar net baba kom in die week....my dokter roteer met die ander dokters oor naweke, en ek weet niks van die ander dokters af nie. Ek is baie ongemaklik met sulke goed so sou rerig verkies dat dit my dokter moet wees, maar nou ja - mens moet maar vat wat jy kry ;p

My man is nog besig met die babakas, daarna sal hy die res van die goed vir my opsit, soos die gordyne, rakkies teen die muur en die nuwe lig. Ek se maar niks maar ek is so ongeduldig, wil nou al die goedjies begin wegpak!

Jip hy het nou alles: van die hospitaal se nommer tot die dokter sn. Ek het nou vir hom die stemcell berging admin gegee om te reel, op die manier is hy ook included!

Ek is so bly jy het die hospitaal toer geniet! Ons gaan dit saammet die ante natal klas se mense doen, ek sien so uit na die klas elke week want dis lekker om tyd te spandeer met mense wat dieselfde vrae as jy het! Geniet dit regtig. Ek het besluit ek is nou klaar met videos oor geborte skenk, dit het my net uit gefreak. Dis tog nie iets wat ek actually gaan sien anyway nie. My dokter kan my maar net se wat om wanneer te doen en dan doen ek dit so vir n gesonde baba.....IreneL ek dink ek deel jou vrees volkome!

IreneL, ek weet nie of jy weet nie, maar n vriendin het my vertel. As jy na Dischem toe gaan en n Dischem kaart kry, R300 spandeer en se jy is swanger dan kry jy n doeksak vol goodies. So eintlik hoef jy net n pak doeke te koop en ietsie klein dan kry jy al die gooedies verniet. Net gedink dis nogal oulik. Ek weet MediClinic gee dit ook vir jou maar ek is seker die goedjies binne in is verskillend?

Ons volgende stap is baba kamer gordyne hang, wag nog vir die cot......is al bestel wag net vir aflewering en dan die compactum en laaikas moet nog in die kamer gesit word. Dit raak nou baie excitinggggggg

LizeMari, dis baie waar. Ek en my man is albei baie chilled, en oor hy 'n apteker is weet hy darem oor die mediese aard van die dinge (hy is eintlik TE chilled na my smaak, hy is baie tegnies oor die geboorte storie, terwyl ek weer flippen bang is - hyt selfs gisteraand vir my gese "liefie, moet jy nie dalk eerder met iemand soos n sielkundige gaan praat nie, want jyt n genuine vrees hiervoor...." hahahaha.....)

ANYWAY, maar toe ek nou Saterdag op die toer van die kraamsaal was was ek nogal spyt hy was nie saam nie (hyt mos gewerk), want dis is tog interessant om te sien waar als gebeur ens....so ek wonder of ek nie op nog n toer moet gaan in April sodat hy kan saamgaan nie.

Ook n baie goeie idee om al die nommers ens vir hom te gee, want ek doen gewoonlik al daai dinge want hy is baie sleg met reelings ens oor sy werk so besig is. Dalk net n goeie idee om dit op sy foon te save of erens neer te skryf, dalk in die hospitaaltas!

Hi julle!!!!

Ek het gister so klein uitfreak oomblik gehad en klomp newborn goedjies gaan koop en nog benodighede vir die hospitaal tassie....wel die baba sn nie myne nie.

My arme manlief het Sondag n panic attack gehad oor wat hy moet doen as ek in kraam gaan....shame ek was nog die heeltyd so besig met myself en die baba ek het nog nie eenkeer lekker met hom gechat oor hoe als gaan gebeur as die dag kom dat ons moet hospitaal toe gaan nie. So ons het nou lekker gesels en ekt al die nommers en hospitaal magtigings vir hom gegee. Hy help met die 2 tassies se pak en benodighede sodat hy ook deel is, dis so maklik om van die Pappa's te vergeet tussen alles deur wat moet gebeur.

Lekker week hoop dit gaan goed met almal

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More Almal

Hoop almal het n baie lekker naweek gehad.

Geluk 3xmom met seuna se verjaarsdag, dis so lekker as hul hierdie ouderdom is. Nog so klein maar gaan nou al die verjaarsdae begin onthou.

Ons n erg produktiewe naweek gehad, my babakamer is 99% klaar, moet nog net n mat kry en n klein tvtjie wat tee ndie een muur moet gaan (en natuurlik aldie beddegoed wat die tannies en oumas maak, dan is ons reg vir kleinding. Was in Mr price home in en daai plek is skadelik vir n mom to be se beursie as jy weet of dit pienk of blou is. Moes myself heeltyd keer om nie al hul mooi pienk goed te koop nie. Darem net n mooi horlosie gekry. Al ons baba kleretjies wat ons so ver het is gewas en in die kas, asook sommer al die waslappies handoeke en kombersies (was dit nou nie n helse werk nie). maar what is done is done.

Was gister in baby city gewees en gesien hul het baie spesials op n Fisher en Price toys, het n learning teddie gekoop vir R289 wat normaal weg R500 is. Jul meot gaan kyk en deur stap, mens mis maklik sulke special want hul steek dit goed weg.

Moet die naweek my grot van n studeer kamer nog tackle want familie kom paasnaweek kuier, maar is so moeg elke naweek na die shopping sessies het net nie die krag nie en natuurlik werk ons onsaglike hitte die laaste paar dae glad nie. Sommer migraine gekry gister van die hitte. Bid regtig vir winter.

Wel ek n mount everest van werk voor my wat moet deur gewerk kry. Hoop jul het n lekker daggie.