Oct/Nov 2008 mommies!

Think the ratings on our thread went up lots of viewers at the moment!!!

Mandy & Vix glad you ladies had a heart to heart and feeling better now I hope.

Mandy enjoy your PE trip. Hope Cam was good for the journey.

2km your kids are adorable.
Sorry Shrey is still at home with his granny's and will only start school next year. Julz is right though, only you know your kids and what will work best.
That being said I would also be livid if someone changed the person responsible for my child and didn't inform me first. Sounds like they have shocking attitude for people responsible for kids

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Hey Gals

So, I was quite pleased that i didnt read any further posts after leaving work last night as I needed a serious time out.. I only read the last post from VIx and Jules this morning and im pleased Id missed those! A really good cry, a bubble bath and a hot sweet cup of tea did the trick.. to get me back down to earth.. shessh!

so what I can tell you is that VIx did sms me to apologise this morning and we had a a good heart to heart today. I know she really did come accross harshly yesterday, but IN RETROSPECT, I dont think she INTENDED to be mean to me personally in the beginning, but i did feel it to be that way, and then things spiralled out of control..

Lets face it, VIx and I are both very blunt and we always both say exactly what we think.. that is how i upset her last year during her pregnancy and how things got out of hand yesterday.. THe very thing that people love about us, gets us both into trouble at times..

Her point in the beginning of the day had good merit in that we can listen more, and I still agree on that, but i dont want to break the spirit of this thread, which is quite incredible as we do benefit so much from our DIFFERENCES and not our similarities..

I do accept Vix apology wholeheartedly and I know she is also feeling very down and for that i am sorry! This thread has been so well known for being one of the longest and closest bunch and i know we are all still that!

I appreciate those who did say something and those that didnt.. we all cope the way we do because of who we are and from our experiences as Julz says..

What I dont want to change is that we accept each other for who we are.. and vix and i agree that we both need to sometimes have a cup of tea before REACTING!!

anyhoo.. I am going to enjoy this holiday here in PE which is going well and forget about all of this to move forward and I hope that you all encourage Vix and to post here again when its not so raw!!

Glad to see you are all getting on with other topics today and so we all should

Thanks Julz, know I can always count of a logical honest reply from you. I also thought therapy but my DH is someone who doesn't beleive in it unfortunately. I would have a hard time convincing him. At the same time, is there anybody you would recommend?

Oh my word 2km. Firstly you have every right to be totally annoyed with them sending someone else to fetch your daughter. That is totally not on and her attitude is shocking.

I can't really tell you what is ideal as only you know your kids and only you know Victoria. It may be a huge adjustment for your son to go from having friends to staying home and will Victoria be able to manage your toddler and a baby all by herself?

I certainly would leave the creche if I were you. I know I am a therapy freak, but this is a good instance where it might not be a bad idea to have a single consultation with a good child psychologist. there are so many things we don't think of and a therapist will be able to guide you through the process of change for each child. In other words , it doesn't really matter what you decide to do if you handle the situation carefully.

I've been trying to catch up, got saddened by most of it and stopped reading. I thought i'll just post my post and get on with it. I don't have or want to say anything about any of the stuff that has been going on here.

I hope the thread finds it's good standing here and that we can all get along and reform the once apparant good relationships.

Now, what I want to know and i hope you don't find this all too selfish or inconciderate of the current ongoings but I have a bit of a crisis to deal with here and was hoping for some kind of guidance from others who may have gone through the same.

Up until now my kids have been in creches since 4 months old. For the most part my daugther was in the same creche with the same people for 4 solid years. My Son was in that same creched up until he was 20 months old. I moved my daughter to a pre-primary for which she went full day because of the aftercare. My Son I moved out of necessety to a new pre-school. It took my son abut a week or 2 to settle for the most part but my daughter hated the aftercare and by about month 2 of her new school we realised we needed to take action. I discovered that the school my son was at also had aftercare facilities and so I now have them collect her from school at 12:00 and take her there for the rest of the day and then she is with her brother. She has been quite happy with this arrangement and has now finally settled. Except and this is a BIIG Except. I don't like the owner of the school she is a older lady in her 70's who owns the school and her daugther in her 30's who runs it. Judy the owner is very old school and from the old way of thinking that kids should just suppress emotion and buck it up and grow up. Once or twice there have been incidences where i felt she was a bit agro towards my kids for various reasons but that blew over and then today it all changed. Yesterday the younger woman was off sick who usually fetches my daughter and without informing me they sent the owners husband to fetch my daughter and their own granddaughter at their respective schools. My daughter is much like me and likes to know about changes etc. She knows the old guy as she sees him everyday but she is a very shy girl and so she didn't feel comfortable going with him but had to. The school didn't phone me as they know the other school and know that sometimes 'Grandpa" fetches if Heather can't so they didn't even think to phone me. After School Zoe said she had a bad day and told me why. I was not impressed and felt they should have informed me so I could have prepared Zoe the change. This morning I asked by sms so that I could foreward zoe if Grandpa would fetch again and I was not answered. This morning zoe came with me to drop her brother off and when we walked in their this Woman basically attacked us both saying things like "She can't understand why zoe can't just deal with it and accept him fetching her" She is big and clever and must learn to handle it" She must stop being a baby ahhhhhhghh the list goes on. lets just say she was so agressively attacking my daughter that she had her in tears later. We left because I had to go and then I phoned my husband who is less than pleased. On route to work I started thinking of various ways I can get my kids out of school and think I have come up with a plan. An THIS brings me to the actual question I have. I have a very good reliable domestic worker who is awesome with my kids and comes 4 times a week. As yet I have been happy having my kids in schools but there have just been so many upsets in recent months I am starting to strongly think having them at home will be better for them. I am with most possible certainty have my daughter home in the afternoons and my son home with her full day and if we have a 3rd baby have them home from day 1. My Question is, have any of you ever had your kids in schools until the age of 2 and then all of a sudden had them at home with the nanny? What if any effects did you notice. We have very extenuating circumstances here and I truly think this is something that will be good for my daughter but wonder about my son as he loves being with friends. I just don't want to move him to a 3rd school and would rather just have him with Victoria who absolutely adores him.

I will be sending her on some courses, paying her a good salary, medical aid and UIF and will try make it as pleasant as possible for all involved. I just can't stop working and that is killing me emotionally because all I really want is happiness for my kids so that they wont grow up resenting me for putting them through hell at creches and play schools.

very confused and would really appreciate some advice but please nothing critical, don't think my poor nerves could take it!

Thanks Nicole. x

Lisha glad you are feeling better.