Feb-May 2011 Mommies

Kimika it just upsets me that I tell him how much I need his support right now. He says ok he'll support me. The next night he's out drinking and doesnt reply to my smses...Great support. I then spend an hour on skype crying to him about it, he apologises, says he feels so bad about it but then does the same thing 2 days later?
I dunno...it's like he's just not serious about me. If I saw how much I was hurting him, I certainly wouldnt be ok with continuing such behaviour. But it seems it doesnt bother him that he hurts me so badly? In my opinion, if you truly love someone, you really feel kak when you make them cry...and u got out of your way to make sure u never make them cry in the first place!
maybe I'm too sensitive..I dunno.
I agree that once Matt is here - maybe I can focus on him instead of DH. but honestly, I dont want a distraction from the problem - I just want the problem resolved and gone!

by the way your photos on FB are divine. I love them. Reuben is just so flippin cute!!!!!!

Hey there is absolutely no way Im tasting my own breastmilk.. Im with most other people in thinking it a bit gross Reuben likes it and thats all there is to know about it!! LOL

Meags, yip thanks .. social worker!
Ag friens, Im so sad for you that you are unhappy Dont stop venting to us.. we really are here to support you wherever you need it!! Maybe once Matt is there you will have something positive to focus on and then you wont need to worry about getting depressed anymore. I would def also be wondering what he was up to that time of the morning.. just doesnt sound right to me? And you are prob so sick of confronting him.

chat tomoz, he just woke up

Ah those photos are so cute!!!!!
It's always so nice when there is a sibling to see the new baby

MistyMom I really hope you gonna get some sleep tonight...cant believe you were still up at 3am last night posting updates on facebook!!!

Cath thanks for your words. I just spent an hour on skype with him and literally tears streamed down my face the full hour. I am so scared this marriage is/has already fallen apart. I dont even know if it can be fixed anymore. It's just like I am constantly begging him to love me and to show me he loves me and it seems like it's just such an effort to him. I know he is stressed and tired - but when you love someone so much (like u should in a marriage) it shouldnt be such an effort...
I think after that skype he is feeling a bit crap. And I think he is a bit worried for the relationship. It doesnt matter. I was not out to prove a point or upset him. I just want him to realise that it is at a critical stage now and I am close to packing and leaving because it just hurts so much to stay. I feel like I am sitting around just waiting to be hurt.
He was at the bar again last night until 3am and hence couldnt skype or even bother to reply about my midwife appointment. He also lied to me about it as he smsed saying he had been taking measurements of the machine and now he tells me he was out drinking. He says he must have been drunk as he doesnt even remember sending that sms and has no idea why he would even say that. But that isnt the point. I am so deeply hurt - I dont even have words anymore.
I am going to write the letter and as you suggested, give him an ultimatum and time frame. My heart is just too sore to go on like this. I am so numb I cant even cry properly anymore. Its like there are no feelings - just tears.

ok sorry for that rather depressing bit!!

on a lighter note - one of the expats arrived on Sunday and they were in SA with us a couple of years ago. She had an IVF baby 9 months ago and so I met with her today and it was really so so nice to go out and be with someone I know. It was great chatting with her and I am sure I will see a lot of her.
She makes me laugh. She is asian, but speaks french and now english since her husband is australian (they been together 10 years) - but oh my word her accent is funny!! And its so funny the way she talks Shame she is like 41 or something but you would swear she was only 30 with her attitude. At least I have someone here now!

Tomorrow I am going to lunch with her again and then we are going to meet that mom with the triplets!! That mom is coming with all 6 of her kids will be interesting to see if she has someone helping her and how she copes!

brothers!!

Was chatting to Jessica earlier on BB...she is doing great, just a little tender. Cant beleive the amount of hair Riley has!

amelia is lovely and such a little girl already!!

meags glad you could ge it out and of course if you are depressed now then it would be obvious to wonder if pnd is not around the corner. I sa write the letter! Wrie dow how you feel and importantly wha you want! Bugger his work stress pregnancy and being alone is fa more stressful!!! Give him an uktimatum when matthie is born u expect x y z give him a timeframe take charge of the situation and if he cant do what u wat ie yr minimum requirements say two months after m is born or watever timeframe u choose then you will be empowered to make a decision. I believe you deserve so much more you are young pretty kind etc you do deserve all those things you expected from a marriage. Write the letter! It could be he is incapable of changing and loves you but is not ale to be different the you make a decision or he has epiphany and realises things must change ad does so. Either way i tink its important to give him clear instructions on what you want. The wa he is behaving is not loving or acceptable. Thinking of you!! Cathm x

Tazzy - Congratulations on the arrival of BEAUTIFUL Amelia!!!!! She does look perfect and what a good weight ..... I am so glad that Tessa won't be the only chubby cherub on team pink on this thread!! Enjoy and we look forward to hearing your story!!

Vix - thanks for the advice of the pain meds!! Really good to know as I am prone to runny tummies from meds at the best of times!

Claire - Hope you are doing better now. So glad that your precious LB is doing well! Hope Mama is coping though

Faw - I am sure your Dad will be better off and get the care he needs. At least when you are with him for visits they can be happy rather than being frustrated with him cause of always "dealing" with him. Sounds like a good plan for everyone to me.
Oi that husband of yours ...... I have no great ideas but I wish you strength.

Meags - I really hope things come right for you.
I am sorry "nothing" is happening. M is obviously very cosy and happy in your tummy. The wait is frustrating, grrrrrr. sorry about the grapes hurting. Mine are just uncomfortable, not sore ..... my back is my gripe. Oh dear the joys, hee hee.

Kimika - I am certain my DH will do the exact same thing!! Men are too funny The gynae better give me my date on the 11 march as I'll be nearly 37 weeks!!!! Nothing like stress!

Schatsie - My DH just LOVES the boobies too. They are easy to please sometimes!!

Misty - Yip I'm gonna have to get used to the purple environment. But the best part is I'm freeeeeeeee!!!!! Perhaps I should board the titanic and do the scene. OK now I'm being silly!!
I am so pleased your baba is so healthy and big. How awesome to have only put on baby weight too. Well done