New Moms get a raw deal from not-so-new-moms ....

mutha2b - Cool, I think it is good to have opinions that challenge us and make us relook and improve how we raise our kids, but ..... a friend who has our best interest at heart would support our decisions (assuming they are making you and your child happy) .....

I tend not to discuss parenting issues or opinions with anyone other than here on Moomie.

I have decided to distance myself from her. Because I always feel drained and really upset after our meets.

I will come to moomie (open minded though) and ask for advice

mutha2b - I am sorry that the constructive approach did not work.

I think most not-so-new moms do think they know best, but I think most of us can vouch for the fact that this is not necessarily true.

I have a car and drive it every day, and I have had a car for nearly 20 years. Still does not make me an expert on cars ..... not sure if you understand the analogy.

I do think it is sad if someone does not allow you the freedom to make the choices and decisions you need to, and offer you support and assistance no matter what those decisions are.

Sure we might not all agree with the various ways we parent, but at the end of the day, we do what works for us, our children and our households.

I am sorry your friend is not a more supportive friend. (and I also have no grasp of how important cultural issues are in this regard, so I am not making a judgement on that in any way)

The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.. ~William Shakespeare, As You Like It

RM, I took your advice. But it did not work. I think my friend is arrogant. She says she is helping me as she has 2 older kids and knows more. And because she can clearly see that I do not know what I am doing.

I really hate this black vs white thing. It gets to me. She said I grew up very Model C like (was privileged) and have neglected 'our' way of doing things. She doesn't understand how I can raise my child the western way..... WTF?

And that might be the key - to realise whether you have 1 child or 3 of 8, that your children are not the "guide for all children" and what worked for your child might and probably will not work for another.

I do feel people are not always being mean when they give advise and suggestions, but someitmes they do not realise how callous they are being.

Me included.

But we are surrounded by so much media and forums and blogs telling us how it will be, and should be, that it is often over whelming when it is not like that for us in our own homes and with our own child/ren.

No read another thread and it made me feel really useless. Like I spent three months letting my son cry in pain. I expressed myself on the other thread and here too. Because I can and this is probably what judged parents feel like.