Hi TCS,
You remind me a lot of myself with my 1st baby, so many questions, worries, etc. Must say that the 2nd child is definitely much easier because you just tend to let things happen.
My 1st crawled at 13 months and walked (properly, no falling or crawling) at close to 17 months. My 2nd crawled at 11 months and walked (properly) at 13 months. I drove myself nuts with the 1st one, everybody else's babies walked long before mine. And this is the case with everything else too, sleeping and eating patterns, etc. Babies are different, you just find what works for you.
My little guy, for instance, has a mouth full of teeth but he still wants his food to be in a pretty fine consistency. Not Purity, but like the Woolies baby food. He won't have mince and rice, or veggies with a rougher texture. Won't eat pasta, but will have it if I blend it. He'll eat a WHOLE slice of white bread from crust to crust and he seems to swallow any type of biscuit without even chewing it...but food? No way. Just preference, nothing wrong but irritating to me because by this point I would like to feed him the same as the rest of the household. Mind you, my 4-year old ate hardly anything for the first 3 years of her life, so I suppose this is an improvement for us.
About the feeding, you'll find what's right for you. Neither one of my two kids ever held their own bottle. If it's not effort for you, then don't worry. I like holding the bottle, it's a bit of bonding time.
Dehan is currently on Nan 3, he gets a feed around 10am, 2pm, 7pm and 9:30pm. 150ml at a time. He sometimes wakes up for a bottle around 4am, but mostly sleeps from 7pm - 6am. When he wakes at 4am I always give him a dummy first, sometimes it helps and sometimes he's wide awake and needs a feed.
He eats quite a bit during the day, he's not overly mad about baby porridge (but he does like Weetbix!), he eats 2 x yogurts a day, a squish/purity for lunch, and various snacky things during the day. At night he has a good portion of home cooked veggies with chicken or redmeat, but in a finer texture. I want to give him a bigger lunch, but I have to put some thought into it because the nursery school doesn't provide it. He's a big boy, a purity is not sufficient (I think?). So, I think he often wakes up at 4am because of thirst and not hunger, but of course the little punk won't drink water or juice.
As for the Nido/Formula debate:
My daughter dropped all her feeds except her 7pm bottle (250ml) by the time she was 12 months. So she was on Nido for that night feed from 12 months. Nido is very protein rich, approx. 7g of protein per 250ml feed. So if your baby gets 4 or 5 bottles a day, that's a lot of protein (30g) for a small person. Nido is meant as a supplement feed, not as your primary formula.
Cows milk should be ok too, if you use something like full cream Ayreshire from Woolies. Tried it with #1 and she hated it, she ended up being on Nido until she was 3.5 years old, primarily because she was a poor eater and only weighed 13kg on her 4th birthday. And had a very difficult time weaning her off the bottle, won't go down that road again with #2! Haven't tried cow's milk with #2, but I'm not opposed to it.
How is his weight? I remember he was tiiiiiiny for so long, has he caught up a bit?
Any of the moms starting to think about a new pregnancy?