Weet jy, vanaand drink jy lekker glas wyn, eet 'n moerawiese chocolate en vat 'n laaaaang bubble bath. As ek in daai bad le, bedink ek my volgende cycle
Volgende week as af by my opdaag voel ek weer so, so moenie alleen voel nie. Dit is nou maar een maal so dat mens omgekrap en hartseer is en die hormone help nie veel met die proses nie
Het nou die dag die gelees en was nogals so waar en tog ook snaaks
'Just relax and it will happen'
Is what they say
Maybe I should smoke some weed and relax THAT way.
For that is the only time I would think I could just not THINK.
But what would that do to my system? It would screw it all up
That's your advice 'ey you silly smuck?
There is no rest from hope, no break from having to cope.
I have to deal with the biggest heartache life has to give
And you just brush it under the carpet saying "That's maybe not how you were meant to live"
Aunt Flo is a fickle cow
She comes when she pleases, and stays away when she is needed
She is like my boss - never there when I need her, and catching me off guard when I am planning a cycle!
We scratch the surface of our pain
with good friends in the computer who play the same game
They cheer us on and cry with us
They are Angels who deserve so much more than their current lot in life
So do we ever get that happy ending?
Do we hold that child of God in our arms to call our own?
I have to hope so, because I can't face being all alone.
So I chug along, trying everything I can. Because nothing is too much.
My heart is full and I am glad for the journey
Because I get to feel so deeply.
The sadness is overwhelming, but then so is my joy
Because without great sadness I would never know how good it feels to have something that others take for granted.
My promise to God is to LOVE and hold tight, that little Spirit for whom I had to fight.
I will cherish each moment, and do my very best
To give that little one my all
I will tuck them in each night, tell them I Love them each day.
They will KNOW they are wanted
and are Loved in a very special way.
Then we can join the ranks of those who see those 2 pink lines
Who get to feel the fear of c-section scars
That child is getting such a hiding when he comes out for making me wait so long...
And then I will cuddle him for the rest of his life to thank him for pitching up.