What will you never allow your child to....

EP - Lol! Yep we waited until the religious ceremony was done first. It was just the way we were brought up. I cannot guarantee that my daughter will be the same when she grows up but I hope I can give her an upbringing and equip her with some values that will make her wait. Like I say thare is no guarantee and that is my ideal.

claire i think i am totally with you and yes i als had these rules forced onto me as a teenager and believe me i was naugthy if i was invited to a party i would ask my parents and if they say no i will just ask to go to the movies wich to this they couldnt say no to ... so what happend is i was allways picked up at the movies by friend/bf's and just went to the party anyway and got so drunk....

nayeela, no disrespect, but how do you plan to keep your child from having sex before marriage? I am just curious, really. DId you and your husband really wait until you were married? And was it the first time for both of you?

Tell me to go away if it is too personal I really don't mean any offense.

Claire A - Thats a valid point. Ideally, I want to raise K to be open and honest with us and if you have a child that knows her boundaries then they will be making their own rules.

I am scared of putting in too many rules as I know how easily they can be bent and broken (I did it so many times as a child and teenager). For me cultivating a healthy relationship comes before setting in the rules.

There should be rules in ay household but in my opinion it should be just enough to guide them on the right path.

That said things often turn differently from what we plan but I am keeping fingers cross that my little girl will not give me too much grief in a few years to come

Oh my word please excuse the typos. My fingers are frozen.

Never say never - It will bite you in the ass

Our kids won't have tv's in their rooms... But I have no problem with cell phones. Micayla is inGr 4 she has a ceahpie. It cannot receive photos nor does it have a camera, it is JUST for emergencies. She gives it to me Friday afternoons and she gets it back SUnday night to charge the battery before school. SHe gets like R12 airtime and honestly, it lasts for months cause she really uses it only when needed.

I agree about sleepovers. Micayla has slept over twice in her life. Once at my brother in law's place, cause sh eand her cousing kept on begging. Sh estayed there one night Once at my cousin for 4 nights, again, because my cosuin invited her - to keep her daughter company. My cousin's dh is a police man studying to be a lawyer so I felt extra secure with her there But no sleepovers at school friends. Sorry.

When I was pregnant, I would look at some of my friend's children and think "My boy will NEVER be allowed to do that", I had so may pre-conceptions about what this whole motherhood journey would bring and how I would impliment my "rules"

What I did not realise was that a lot of the behaviour I disliked was actually perfectly normal, I would not be able to prevent it.

I have broken 99% of my "hard & fast" rules already, not because I am soft, but because I was being unrealistic.

I have decided that until we reach certain ages, I will not be making rules, we will take it as it comes.
I would rather cultivate and open, honest relationship with the boys. I would rather teach them to be moral, ethical & responsible children / teenagers & adults.
I want them to be able to take responsiblity for their actions and that there are consequences to every action (good or bad).

so you have a no smoking / drinking rule - who says your child is not gonna do it behind your back - my folks tried that and I was smoking at 14 & rolling around rip roaring drunk at 16.
My parents had to know where I was at all times - very easy to lie.
I was not allowed to have a tattoo either, but I went off and got a bat on my shoulder anyway

I am also against PC & TV's in the room, but if I trust them enough to use it for the correct reasons, then maybe I will relax that rule. (That does not mean I will not monitor the sites they are using).